Culture Corner

The dreary interior of The Cock in Hand tavern, named in honour of the regions world famous poultry farms, played host to the digital press for a shock announcement from Crimea River head coach Ithaqua, writes Bospor Crimea culture correspondent Alyson Wanda Lande.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press," began the unusually sombre, yet strangely colourful, Crimea River head coach, "thank you for coming here today."
"As you know my time here in the RM Invitational..."
It was here that the entire press conference was almost cut mercifully short as a small contingent of slightly inebriated RM Invitational managers began waving signs, cheering and loudly chanting "R, M, I. R, M, I.". To preserve reputations these managers shall remain nameless. But RobinMeeblind, Eaglesrjh, Solongsuperman and Patrikpatrik you should be ashamed of yourselves.
"...has been short," continued the coach as the disturbance died down, "but in that time I have witnessed a league blessed with some of the finest managerial talent that unsolicited emails to my inbox can persuade."
"What the RM Invitational is missing though. What this league is missing ladies and gentlemen. Is culture. Culture ladies and gentlemen. In fact I firmly believe some MANagers in this league would not know what culture was if you slapped them in the face with a slightly smelly kipper while repeatedly reciting the definition of culture from the Oxford English dictionary."
"Today that changes and I am pleased to announce the release of my newest, and to date only, collection of poetry, short stories and tactical advice entitled 'My tactics were perfect, it was the match engine that done me in. Honest.'".
"And, as a thank you for attending, I would like to indulge in a short reading from my soon to be released work."
An anticipatory, or possibly disinterested, hush fell across the room as the coach cleared his throat.
"This is a short rhyme I call 'Disagreement?',"
"FMRealism and Cathalio11, managers worthy of special mention,
Always competing for the others attention,
Closer than brothers,
Some suspect lovers,
Due to all that simmering sexual tension."
"Thank you," concluded Ithaqua.
'My tactics were perfect, it was the match engine that done me in. Honest.', available from no good bookstores soon. Maybe.