Blue Nun continued their unbeaten run with a 3-1 over African Imitators, and manager Paul Murray will now take his side into their opening league match full of confidence.
" It wasn't the greatest performance tonight, but our strikers were again in good form. We are now six games unbeaten and are in good shape for the season opener against EspÅda. We could play one more friendly, but we will give the players a little break so that their fresh for the opening game. A few players are still a little short on fitness, so we will be working them hard in training to get them up to speed as soon as possible. Our aim is to get promotion which will be tough, but i'm confident with the squad i have and i expect a big season. "
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Rubbish
St Omer's 3 - 0 defeat in the friendly against Blue Nun FC means that they have now gone nineteen games without a win. That hardly bodes well with the new season nearly upon us and manager Cony Tottee is hoping that his new signings might see the results improve.
out of the cup
Cup holders were sent out of the cup on chances created last night. It proved one away tie too many and credit has to go to Mshow’s manager who got his tactic right on the night. Although it is disappointing not to successfully defend our title at least we have got some good match practice in and the new signings are settling well. Lets hope this squad can finally realise it’s potential and we’re not in for another relegation scrap!
friendly
nice warm up match... for the opposition. getting thumped 3-0 is no embarassment though. At least it was less than ten, much stronger team only put three in against us, just sad that we didn't even have a shot at goal. Next friendly will be the youngest side ever put out but hopefully it will be invaluable experience for the youngsters!!
Oliver makes step up !!
Blue Nun continued their good form with a 3-0 win over St. Omar. Manager Paul Murray was pleased with his sides display, and is also delighted to welcome Jeffrey Oliver into the squad after making the step up from the youth team.
" It was another good performance with the new season not far away. Some of the young lads that came in done well and showed that they can have bright futures at the club. Hopefully we can organise another friendly or two before the season starts, which will give us a chance to give Jeffrey Oliver a run-out. He's been impressing in the youth team and has been called into the first team squad for the forthcoming season. He's an exciting prospect, and we now have a good blend of youth and experience which i'm sure will stand us in good stead. "
" It was another good performance with the new season not far away. Some of the young lads that came in done well and showed that they can have bright futures at the club. Hopefully we can organise another friendly or two before the season starts, which will give us a chance to give Jeffrey Oliver a run-out. He's been impressing in the youth team and has been called into the first team squad for the forthcoming season. He's an exciting prospect, and we now have a good blend of youth and experience which i'm sure will stand us in good stead. "
Quarterfinal results and semifinal draw
Quarterfinals
Match 25 - Carthage FC 2-2 Flare United on chances created
Match 26 - Mshow FC 1-1 Splott Rovers on chances created
Match 27 - Soiled Undergarments 1-4 Totaalvoetbal
Match 28 - F.C. Greatness vs Bonkers as challenge was not sent
Semifinals
Match 29 - Totaalvoetbal vs Flare United
Match 30 - Bonkers vs Mshow FC
Match 25 - Carthage FC 2-2 Flare United on chances created
Match 26 - Mshow FC 1-1 Splott Rovers on chances created
Match 27 - Soiled Undergarments 1-4 Totaalvoetbal
Match 28 - F.C. Greatness vs Bonkers as challenge was not sent
Semifinals
Match 29 - Totaalvoetbal vs Flare United
Match 30 - Bonkers vs Mshow FC
Major transfers
Flare United manager Izuka has returned to his roots, approaching the manager of his old club, OAP Pop Punk, to make probably the biggest deal of the whole pre-season. With the club's recent relegation from the top flight, many big stars were eager to leave, and DBYC was more than happy to bring Flare United captain and star striker, Ernie Ormondroyd, arguably the best forward in the RM Invitational, to George at Asda Pop Punk Park. So eager was the veteran manager, in fact, that he sent two of his most promising youngsters the other way in exchange.
Of his two captures, it is Nani that Izuka rates more highly at the moment, though he believes defender Acton Ruddock will become a real star in the future. At the Starburst Arena, Nani will wear his favoured number 17 jersey, while Ruddock has been handed the number 2 jersey recently vacated by Philipp Bitzer. However, neither player has yet to see their new home as an insider, with the Flare United squad currently undergoing pre-season fitness training in Egypt.
Asked about his front line for the coming season, Izuka reported via Skype from deep inside the Sahara Desert that "Jimmy McGinnity and Chris Tretton are now ready to feature regularly in the starting eleven whenever needed. However, it will be the experience of Iain Emery that will help us find the back of the net most this season, with heavy backing from midfield." Emery, now 30, has never exactly shone for Flare United up front, always in the shadow of Ormondroyd. However, with the departure of Ormondroyd and first choice goalkeeper Alex Bogefeldt among others, players such as Dustin Moss and Emery who have been playing second fiddle all this while will have to step up to the plate this coming season as Flare United battle to return to the top flight.
Of his two captures, it is Nani that Izuka rates more highly at the moment, though he believes defender Acton Ruddock will become a real star in the future. At the Starburst Arena, Nani will wear his favoured number 17 jersey, while Ruddock has been handed the number 2 jersey recently vacated by Philipp Bitzer. However, neither player has yet to see their new home as an insider, with the Flare United squad currently undergoing pre-season fitness training in Egypt.
Asked about his front line for the coming season, Izuka reported via Skype from deep inside the Sahara Desert that "Jimmy McGinnity and Chris Tretton are now ready to feature regularly in the starting eleven whenever needed. However, it will be the experience of Iain Emery that will help us find the back of the net most this season, with heavy backing from midfield." Emery, now 30, has never exactly shone for Flare United up front, always in the shadow of Ormondroyd. However, with the departure of Ormondroyd and first choice goalkeeper Alex Bogefeldt among others, players such as Dustin Moss and Emery who have been playing second fiddle all this while will have to step up to the plate this coming season as Flare United battle to return to the top flight.
Don't Expect Much
A new season always brings new expectations.
I beg the fans please don't expect us to get promoted again. There I say we are strong candidates for relegation. Some fans are asking why aren't we strengthning the sqaud. (simple answer, a young squad costs a lot in terms of training therefore WE HAVE NO MONEY).
I beg the fans please don't expect us to get promoted again. There I say we are strong candidates for relegation. Some fans are asking why aren't we strengthning the sqaud. (simple answer, a young squad costs a lot in terms of training therefore WE HAVE NO MONEY).
and so.... it begins..
The new season is created, Carthage are still going strong in the cup, all the transfers are done and Blakey0500 has finally kicked his team into some form training at long last.
It's been a long time coming but Carthage finally have their shot at the title and they aim to win it. Recently Blakey0500 brough in a 16/4 talent for the future. he's sure to be a super sticker in the near future... we'll give him the very best development and he can look forward to lifting more RMI trophies than any other player ever will.
Watch this space.
It's been a long time coming but Carthage finally have their shot at the title and they aim to win it. Recently Blakey0500 brough in a 16/4 talent for the future. he's sure to be a super sticker in the near future... we'll give him the very best development and he can look forward to lifting more RMI trophies than any other player ever will.
Watch this space.
New season created
With the pre season cup getting close to the end I have now created the new season. The first fixture will be Friday the 26th November. Good luck preparing your sides for the coming season.
Steaua still in Jubilation?
Steaua still seem to be in a state of jubilation over their promotion to Division 2.
Yeah I'm surprised we did it, the team is young, a lot of the players are overly shit while we do rely on one or two that sometimes buckle under the pressure.
Will we be able to stay in division 2 or will be defy the odds and go for back to back promotion?
Tis all doubtful but by god we'll try and do what we can
Yeah I'm surprised we did it, the team is young, a lot of the players are overly shit while we do rely on one or two that sometimes buckle under the pressure.
Will we be able to stay in division 2 or will be defy the odds and go for back to back promotion?
Tis all doubtful but by god we'll try and do what we can
Rumours at Flare
There have been plenty of rumours going around at Flare United after the club's recent relegation from the top flight. Stars such as legendary goalkeeper Alex Bogefeldt and skipper and talismanic forward Ernie Ormondroyd are rumoured to have handed in transfer requests as they think they are worthy of top flight football. United manager Izuka was unavailable for comment, and only time will tell what will become of Flare United in years to come. However, one player who is staying at the club is defensive stalwart Gabriel Islas who has pledged the remainder of his career until retirement to Flare United.
The Fun of The Fair
Town News
Florian Arnãutu wins a goldfish for his daughter at a funfair. However, as soon as they get it home, it dies. His daughter is distraught and throws a tantrum, so he sets out to find a pet shop that is open late, but there aren't any nearby. He turns to eBay, and drives 50 miles to buy a couple of fish and a tank. He is exhausted when he finally gets to bed after setting everything up, but the smile on his daughter's face when she sees the fish in the morning is worth all the hard work.
Florian Arnãutu wins a goldfish for his daughter at a funfair. However, as soon as they get it home, it dies. His daughter is distraught and throws a tantrum, so he sets out to find a pet shop that is open late, but there aren't any nearby. He turns to eBay, and drives 50 miles to buy a couple of fish and a tank. He is exhausted when he finally gets to bed after setting everything up, but the smile on his daughter's face when she sees the fish in the morning is worth all the hard work.
Good off-season
Classic 11 are shaping up well for the new season.After winning their friendly against Arsenal Reserves at The Emirates,the side are in good shape.Form is pretty good and another manager against Anime Allstars is scheduled a couple of days later.the manager is interested in bringing in a mid-fielder to have more options available in his starting line-up
Up date
@peace has let go 3 players and brought in just 2 players 1 is a defender glen johnson at 23 years old and a eight skill alrounder @peace has great hopes for him the other a 19 year old 5 skill pacey forward.Many mangers wil be asking them self y break up a geat team the reason was the teams getting old and the over aal sqaud value would of droped big time in 2 season as some of the older player would of drop in value so we are looking at bring in some younger players with another 17 4 mid on the way that will be all signs done for now and if manger @peace is still at the club for the next 3 season he will not be signing or selling any more players
Pathetic wait
Holgate Athletic manager Riverside Shep is growing increasingly frustrated at the wait for the new season to start. "Im increasingly frustrated at the wait for the new season to start" he said today. The team are ready, form is good and we are optimistic for a decent season n Division 1. We are now planning on hibernating until the new season comes along so I'm off to find a warm dark hole where I can play with my nuts".
Quid Sin
In the mere weeks since Crimea River head coach Ithaqua had made his billions investing in the white ankle sock industry rumours were rife that a recent investment bordering on pure folly had left the charismatic coach on the verge of pennylessness and destitution and ruin.
So it was with a level of surprise echoing on the Richter scale that the assembled press hacks greeted the head coach as he swaggered into the River press room quaffing champagne from a pint glass.
"You know... I was at something of a low ebb recently," slurred the clearly slightly worse for wear head coach, "perhaps the heady aromas of slightly sweaty white ankle socks had finally got to me. Perhaps I momentarily lost my senses with the euphoria and slightly narcotic effects, but yes I can confirm I once again invested heavily my entire fortune."
"In what? Is that I hear you ask? Well, in that moment of madness and blinded by a giant cheque held before my eyes, I signed a contract to both invest in, and officially endorse a mystery product."
"A product that, unfortunately, did not live up to its undoubted potential and left me facing the prospect of bankruptcy as sales nosedived."
"Now, I am not a religious man but in those dark days I prayed for salvation. For a saviour. And as hope faded like the colour from FMR's face as his side lose again despite having set the best tactics ever and the nights looked at their darkest since the clocks went back an hour those prayers were answered."
"Everything I have again I owe to a MANager in this very league. A prince among men. A Colossus standing among Titans standing among Giants.”
“Ladies and gentlemen of the press once again I am indebted to one kilie_gers for restoring my good fortune."
"And, you know, let me tell you something about _gers," here the coach paused briefly to wipe a salty tear from his eye, "whatever you may think about him this is a man who once had biblical relations with his own sister at an awards ceremony in another league. This is a man who once spelled DV wrong on a managerial job application form resulting in a hasty trip to a doctor's surgery. With hilarious consequences."
"A man like that you should respect ladies and gentlemen. Respect."
"Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Now I am unaware of the whole story but eye-witnesses report that in a private conversation with one Dom Monster Truck Racing Brown that _gers off-handidly mentioned, and I have the quote here, 'up and down every month? a (sic) bit like Ithaqua panties in a gay club'."
"Now, and I feel it is important to clear this up, _gers was clearly talking about Ithaqua branded panties, the aforementioned investment I had made. The lack of an apostrophe and an 's' clearly indicate that he was not actually talking about the underwear I wear under there."
"Within moments of _gers quote being typed the interwebs lit alight with talk of these frictionless panties which could be pulled off and on at a moment’s notice, in case of say fire or something, and our server crashed under the weight of orders from men around the globe. Some from within this very league. And of course Kylie."
“And with my riches restored I must bid you adieu ladies and gentlemen of the press, I have to go and buy several banks to store my cash,” concluded the sickeningly wealthy head coach.
So it was with a level of surprise echoing on the Richter scale that the assembled press hacks greeted the head coach as he swaggered into the River press room quaffing champagne from a pint glass.
"You know... I was at something of a low ebb recently," slurred the clearly slightly worse for wear head coach, "perhaps the heady aromas of slightly sweaty white ankle socks had finally got to me. Perhaps I momentarily lost my senses with the euphoria and slightly narcotic effects, but yes I can confirm I once again invested heavily my entire fortune."
"In what? Is that I hear you ask? Well, in that moment of madness and blinded by a giant cheque held before my eyes, I signed a contract to both invest in, and officially endorse a mystery product."
"A product that, unfortunately, did not live up to its undoubted potential and left me facing the prospect of bankruptcy as sales nosedived."
"Now, I am not a religious man but in those dark days I prayed for salvation. For a saviour. And as hope faded like the colour from FMR's face as his side lose again despite having set the best tactics ever and the nights looked at their darkest since the clocks went back an hour those prayers were answered."
"Everything I have again I owe to a MANager in this very league. A prince among men. A Colossus standing among Titans standing among Giants.”
“Ladies and gentlemen of the press once again I am indebted to one kilie_gers for restoring my good fortune."
"And, you know, let me tell you something about _gers," here the coach paused briefly to wipe a salty tear from his eye, "whatever you may think about him this is a man who once had biblical relations with his own sister at an awards ceremony in another league. This is a man who once spelled DV wrong on a managerial job application form resulting in a hasty trip to a doctor's surgery. With hilarious consequences."
"A man like that you should respect ladies and gentlemen. Respect."
"Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Now I am unaware of the whole story but eye-witnesses report that in a private conversation with one Dom Monster Truck Racing Brown that _gers off-handidly mentioned, and I have the quote here, 'up and down every month? a (sic) bit like Ithaqua panties in a gay club'."
"Now, and I feel it is important to clear this up, _gers was clearly talking about Ithaqua branded panties, the aforementioned investment I had made. The lack of an apostrophe and an 's' clearly indicate that he was not actually talking about the underwear I wear under there."
"Within moments of _gers quote being typed the interwebs lit alight with talk of these frictionless panties which could be pulled off and on at a moment’s notice, in case of say fire or something, and our server crashed under the weight of orders from men around the globe. Some from within this very league. And of course Kylie."
“And with my riches restored I must bid you adieu ladies and gentlemen of the press, I have to go and buy several banks to store my cash,” concluded the sickeningly wealthy head coach.
Totaal Progress
Totaalvoetbal continued their cup progress with a 3-0 win at Holgate Pathetic.
Ramiro Verona would score a brace of headers and Antonello Ballarin would add a third as the champions eased to victory.
Next up is an intriguing tie at Soiled Undergarments where a warm welcome is expected from home boss, Kilie_gers.
Ramiro Verona would score a brace of headers and Antonello Ballarin would add a third as the champions eased to victory.
Next up is an intriguing tie at Soiled Undergarments where a warm welcome is expected from home boss, Kilie_gers.
Training going well
Arsenal Reaserves decided to not take part in this season's cup and instead focus on getting everyones form up before the new season kicks off. The team form is up to 15 now and everyone seems to be at a good level. 3 friendlies have been played and with a victory and two defeats Brown is just happy to win a game
top 8?
Can it be, Bonkers make the quarter finals of the pre-season cup. Shocking news, as in a small little, very theorertical way that makes Bonkers a top 8 team in RM invitational. NOT!!! So far the team has played well, play nothing special enough to show that they dont deserve to be in division 3 next season. But lets hope the inconsistancy of the team is a thing of the past. Probably not. Next up is Greatness, no not for the team by making the semi finals the tema they are playing in the quarters are FC greatness, going to be a tough game as they are a top squad of players.
Murray pleased with progress !!
Blue Nun had two friendlies this week and they continue to impress new manager Paul Murray. Their 2-0 win over Crimson Tigers was followed up with another 2-0 win tonight over Thundercats. Murray is particularly pleased with the front pairing of Finley and Tilly.
" We're unbeaten since i took over, and though it's only friendly games, it's pleasing nonetheless. Tilly and Finley look a great pairing up front and we look solid at the back, so the early signs are good. The form is improving and the new lads have settled in nicely, so hopefully we can keep things going with another win when we take on St Omar. "
" We're unbeaten since i took over, and though it's only friendly games, it's pleasing nonetheless. Tilly and Finley look a great pairing up front and we look solid at the back, so the early signs are good. The form is improving and the new lads have settled in nicely, so hopefully we can keep things going with another win when we take on St Omar. "
Pre-season cup quarterfinal draw
Quarterfinals
Match 25 - Carthage FC vs Flare United
Match 26 - Mshow FC vs Splott Rovers
Match 27 - Soiled Undergarments vs Totaalvoetbal
Match 28 - F.C. Greatness vs Bonkers
Match 25 - Carthage FC vs Flare United
Match 26 - Mshow FC vs Splott Rovers
Match 27 - Soiled Undergarments vs Totaalvoetbal
Match 28 - F.C. Greatness vs Bonkers
Cup exit
Having been knocked out of the pre-season cup, Cony Tottee's St Omer carry on their pre-season training today with a friendly against Crimson Tigers.
Cony is hopeful to get a few more friendlies in before the season starts as he tries to get his players form up.
Cony is hopeful to get a few more friendlies in before the season starts as he tries to get his players form up.
Can Pop Punk stay up again next season?
With a whole host of younger players joining the squad over the pre season, the question on the fans lips is "can pop punk stay up again next season"
We asked the manager what he thought:
"Honestly? probably not! With the addition of an older defender perhaps we could stand a chance but I think I'll probably stick with the players I've got now and see where we end up. I wouldn't mind a season that ends in relegation if it provides us with a squad to challenge for the title in the division below and then allows us to compete for the title should we come back up. I think myself and the fans could deal with that. I'm an amazing manager though, so maybe I'll keep us up. Its not like that imbecile Riversideshep is in charge"
We then asked Paddy who this "Riversideshep" character is as no one in the press had any idea who he was referring to.
"He's not really worth mentioning too much but since you asked he's part Ron Atkinson, part Chris Kamara and part Tony Mowbray (the defensive organisation part), you might remember him from the Mr Muscle adverts"
All this Riversideshep talked bored us so we decided to stop the interview there.
We asked the manager what he thought:
"Honestly? probably not! With the addition of an older defender perhaps we could stand a chance but I think I'll probably stick with the players I've got now and see where we end up. I wouldn't mind a season that ends in relegation if it provides us with a squad to challenge for the title in the division below and then allows us to compete for the title should we come back up. I think myself and the fans could deal with that. I'm an amazing manager though, so maybe I'll keep us up. Its not like that imbecile Riversideshep is in charge"
We then asked Paddy who this "Riversideshep" character is as no one in the press had any idea who he was referring to.
"He's not really worth mentioning too much but since you asked he's part Ron Atkinson, part Chris Kamara and part Tony Mowbray (the defensive organisation part), you might remember him from the Mr Muscle adverts"
All this Riversideshep talked bored us so we decided to stop the interview there.
oh well
Emanuele Armellini is involved in a serious car accident, but walks away without a scrape. He arrives late at training as a result, and fails to warm up properly. Unfortunately, this results in a pulled muscle that will rule him out of action for a short period of time.
How ironic!
How ironic!
Cup
Splott are through to the next round in the cup but face a very strong gooners side away from home. We will be the underdogs here no doubt but hopefully our new signings will show their quality as the team look to defend their title from last time around
2nd Round Of Cup
We have done well to navigate our way through to the second round of the cup.
I'll be honest with the fans, the cup is just a way to force team to play friendlies with us (as we have no friends).
My players forms are looking good, I have no intention to get any further than the 2nd or 3rd round. We'll just use the games for players who really need the games.
I'll be honest with the fans, the cup is just a way to force team to play friendlies with us (as we have no friends).
My players forms are looking good, I have no intention to get any further than the 2nd or 3rd round. We'll just use the games for players who really need the games.
Pre-season cup second round draw
Match 17 - Carthage FC vs Barnsley Chop FC
Match 18 - Bristol City vs Soiled Undergarments
Match 19 - The Vikings vs Mshow FC
Match 20 - Bonkers vs Crusado FC/White Hawk FC (TBA after either or both managers reply my mail)
Match 21 - Gooners vs Splott Rovers
Match 22 - Holgate Pathetic vs Totaalvoetbal
Match 23 - Flare United vs Kirkbride Strollers
Match 24 - PSV Eindhoven vs F.C. Greatness
Teams on the left to send the challenge.
Only one leg for this round, matches must be played on Friday.
Match 18 - Bristol City vs Soiled Undergarments
Match 19 - The Vikings vs Mshow FC
Match 20 - Bonkers vs Crusado FC/White Hawk FC (TBA after either or both managers reply my mail)
Match 21 - Gooners vs Splott Rovers
Match 22 - Holgate Pathetic vs Totaalvoetbal
Match 23 - Flare United vs Kirkbride Strollers
Match 24 - PSV Eindhoven vs F.C. Greatness
Teams on the left to send the challenge.
Only one leg for this round, matches must be played on Friday.
Redbulls crash out of cup!
Redbulls lost away to Bristol City this evening 2-1 and were knocked out of the pre-season cup. Eliminators will now try concentrating on getting their team right before the beginning of the season. They are hoping for quite a few changes. First target is to reduce the number of mdifielders, then lookin to swap a striker for a defender.
There are also still question makrs over the reserve keeper, but time will tell if Mathis can keep hold of the Redbulls shirt.
There are also still question makrs over the reserve keeper, but time will tell if Mathis can keep hold of the Redbulls shirt.
Assistant Idol 2010 - the results.
The winner of assistant idol 2010 is *drum roll*
FMR!
Congratulations to FMR who wins a 10 million econ record deal with imaginary records!
FMR won with a whopping 45% of the vote.
However just like Simon Cowell does with many of the acts from his television shows by giving them record deals afterwards, I have now appointed a number of other assistants too to help make the RMI an even more active place.
We now have an army of assistants in:
Ajtrader100
DomBrown
FMRealism
Ithaqua
Izuka
Kilie_gers
RDCM
RobinMeeblind
Sqiurecoley
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the established assistants for all their hard work and effort in making the RMI such a great league and also thank the new guys for agreeing to help out around here.
In the coming week we'll announce the start date for the new season and have a number of articles for you and many other things in collaboration with the assistants.
We're hoping to make the new season the most exciting and active one yet!
Good luck to those of you still left in the pre season cup and in preparing your side for the coming season.
FMR!
Congratulations to FMR who wins a 10 million econ record deal with imaginary records!
FMR won with a whopping 45% of the vote.
However just like Simon Cowell does with many of the acts from his television shows by giving them record deals afterwards, I have now appointed a number of other assistants too to help make the RMI an even more active place.
We now have an army of assistants in:
Ajtrader100
DomBrown
FMRealism
Ithaqua
Izuka
Kilie_gers
RDCM
RobinMeeblind
Sqiurecoley
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the established assistants for all their hard work and effort in making the RMI such a great league and also thank the new guys for agreeing to help out around here.
In the coming week we'll announce the start date for the new season and have a number of articles for you and many other things in collaboration with the assistants.
We're hoping to make the new season the most exciting and active one yet!
Good luck to those of you still left in the pre season cup and in preparing your side for the coming season.
Pushing for honours
The Special Ones top brass are losing patience.
Despite openly supporting the Special Ones gaffa last season the board have come out and stated that only success in the coming season can save the manager from a certain sacking.
The chosen one declined to comment, merely sticking that he is still building a squad for the future. After a succesful change report the manager should feel confident his side should push for a promotion place.
The squad appears more balanced, with a greater defensive cvapability following difficult season.
Despite openly supporting the Special Ones gaffa last season the board have come out and stated that only success in the coming season can save the manager from a certain sacking.
The chosen one declined to comment, merely sticking that he is still building a squad for the future. After a succesful change report the manager should feel confident his side should push for a promotion place.
The squad appears more balanced, with a greater defensive cvapability following difficult season.
Its All Art For Greatness!!
Art Ballinger, (born March 19, 1976 in Rome), is an Italian World Cup-winning footballer who plays as a defender for Serie A club Milan. Considered by many as one of the best centre backs to have ever played the game, he is a five-time member of the annual UEFA Team of the Year, with the likes of Thierry Henry and Carles Puyol with five appearances as well.
Blue Nun snap up young duo !!
Blue Nun have sold key striker Adrian Gray and are using the money to bring in some youngsters for the future. They have already brought in Italian defender Vanni Ballucci and Romanian striker Ioan Usieriu, and manager Paul Murray insists more will be on the way.
" We needed to sell someone so that we could bring in some new faces, and Adrian was the unfortunate player. We would've liked to have kept him, but we have two other quality strikers at the club which meant he was the player sacrificed. We have brought in two players from the money and one or two more will be brought in. A midfielder is still a priority and we should have someone tied up pretty soon in that area. We had an improved display in our friendly win over Mallorca and hopefully we can arrange another friendly soon to see our new players in action. "
" We needed to sell someone so that we could bring in some new faces, and Adrian was the unfortunate player. We would've liked to have kept him, but we have two other quality strikers at the club which meant he was the player sacrificed. We have brought in two players from the money and one or two more will be brought in. A midfielder is still a priority and we should have someone tied up pretty soon in that area. We had an improved display in our friendly win over Mallorca and hopefully we can arrange another friendly soon to see our new players in action. "
Rebuild
manger @peace is trying to rebuild his team over the next 5 season without droping a division there will be a few players sold and 1 or 2 new 17 year olds coming in from the youth camp . @peace is on the martket for a forward and has made a offer on a 19 5 forward all thats left is for the player to sign the contract and he could play in the next game the chairman and manger fill like the good times are coming
Totaal Ease into Round 2
Totaalvoetbal progressed into the second round of the cup following a couple of exciting matches against a good FCR Cressex side.
A 5-2 home win ensured a 3-2 defeat at Cressex would not stop them from progressing. Despite their progress it is thought that club officials are more concerned getting the side up to speed for the start of what is sure to be the toughest RMI season to date.
A 5-2 home win ensured a 3-2 defeat at Cressex would not stop them from progressing. Despite their progress it is thought that club officials are more concerned getting the side up to speed for the start of what is sure to be the toughest RMI season to date.
Carthage invest in youth
Carthage Fc have decided to pool together the teams resources to train up a very bright prospect for the future. Dubbed the next Thierry Henry the 16/4 Striker is quick / tough and greedy. All the aspects that manager Blakey0500 was looking for.
The record 10mil signing has arrived with quite a lot of expectation on his shoulders. Fans are assured that he'll be getting the best development possible and will one day be quite a legend in the RMI.
In other news Carthage FC look set to go into the 2nd round of the cup following a 3-1 away win to rolling thunder.
The record 10mil signing has arrived with quite a lot of expectation on his shoulders. Fans are assured that he'll be getting the best development possible and will one day be quite a legend in the RMI.
In other news Carthage FC look set to go into the 2nd round of the cup following a 3-1 away win to rolling thunder.
Cup Ills For Single Player
Quiet times at Crimea River this silly season after a disappointing Change report.
An expected, and traditional, first round cup exit to Kirkbride Strollers was follwed by the ushering out the exit door of Nate Bradding, Kenneth MacBryne and Albert Mojnár for a combined fee of just over 13 million econs. Econs that the club wasted little time on blowing an a ridiculous amount of form training. And a new goalkeeper with 18 year old Martin Soveja joining the squad for about as long as it takes for him to be punted back on the open market to turn a quick profit.
With the young club also perilously close to broke all fingers will be focussed on the youth academy and all eyes no doubt crossed that said academy turns out a better player than the last one.
An expected, and traditional, first round cup exit to Kirkbride Strollers was follwed by the ushering out the exit door of Nate Bradding, Kenneth MacBryne and Albert Mojnár for a combined fee of just over 13 million econs. Econs that the club wasted little time on blowing an a ridiculous amount of form training. And a new goalkeeper with 18 year old Martin Soveja joining the squad for about as long as it takes for him to be punted back on the open market to turn a quick profit.
With the young club also perilously close to broke all fingers will be focussed on the youth academy and all eyes no doubt crossed that said academy turns out a better player than the last one.
Players Out
Town News
Morley manager has sold two players to try and raise funds for a big new signing, Goalkeeper Ciro Zubeldia 34. was sold for 701 736 econ and Forward Zacharias Ashe 31, sold for 777 504 econ, manager Leeg21 sold both as they failed to improve in the Change Report and both were heading towards the twilight of their careers. Talented young Defender Percival Molseley 18, has since been promoted from the Youth System to fill a gap left by the outgoing players.
Morley manager has sold two players to try and raise funds for a big new signing, Goalkeeper Ciro Zubeldia 34. was sold for 701 736 econ and Forward Zacharias Ashe 31, sold for 777 504 econ, manager Leeg21 sold both as they failed to improve in the Change Report and both were heading towards the twilight of their careers. Talented young Defender Percival Molseley 18, has since been promoted from the Youth System to fill a gap left by the outgoing players.
Skipper signs new deal
Flare United captain Ernie Ormondroyd has put pen to paper on a new contract that will keep him at Flare United until he is 40. There was speculation that Ormondroyd, one of the best, if not the best, of all the strikers in the RM Invitational, would be moving to a bigger club earlier in pre-season but the new contract has put all rumours to rest.
United have also progressed to the second round of the pre-season cup after a 13-0 win over St Omer on aggregate.
United have also progressed to the second round of the pre-season cup after a 13-0 win over St Omer on aggregate.
Holgate outclass OAP
Holgate Pathetic progresses into the second round of the cup with very comfortable home and away victories against top division side OAP Daft Punk. Holgate triumphed 2-1 away and 3-0 at home to humilaite a side who were two divisions above them last season. Player for player the sides are similar, fortunately for Holgate the OAP manager is a buffoon so the victory was a forgone conclusion. ;-))
As is the next found when Holgate get spanked by Total Voetball.....
As is the next found when Holgate get spanked by Total Voetball.....
Hammered..
A bad day at the office for Sir Linkinparkrocks as his side went down 3-1 and the manager was frustrated with his strikers for creating more chances..given their recent good form the manager played all 3 with the hope of scoring,but there were a meagre 3 chances created in the 1st place..The manager will bring in new players before the next season.
through
Into the next round of the pre or is it post season cup. Classic 11 are going to be division mates next year and it was pleasing to Bonkers to have a good win against them, be at home. The team is getting better and soon we hope to be going up in division instead of down in divisions as has happened in the last few seasons. next up a friendly against those africans.
Pre-Season
We have started our pre-season in good fashion with a 3-1 win in the first leg. The results don't really bother us, we just need to raise our form a little bit.
Following the change report I'm quite disappointed Ezequil and Dresko haven't raised their skill bar, I'm still thinking whether or not to offload them. Coaching staff advice we keep them for one more season and see how they perform.
Following the change report I'm quite disappointed Ezequil and Dresko haven't raised their skill bar, I'm still thinking whether or not to offload them. Coaching staff advice we keep them for one more season and see how they perform.
Redbulls underperform in 1st leg
Redbulls lost the first leg of the match in the cup to Bristol City. Redbulls were played off the park in truth and were fortunate to only be one goal down after the first leg.
Redbulls will be hoping for a much better performance in the return leg on Tuesday.
Redbulls will be hoping for a much better performance in the return leg on Tuesday.
Stuffed
Cony Tottee's men carried on from where they left off last season after being stuffed in the first leg of the pre-season cup.
They play again today against Flare United and Cony is expecting pretty much the same outcome. Hopefully the new signings made will make a difference in the league.
They play again today against Flare United and Cony is expecting pretty much the same outcome. Hopefully the new signings made will make a difference in the league.
Early turmoil at Blue Nun !!
Paul Murrays start at the club has not got off to a good start.
Nosy Parker, an investigative reporter has got hold of information about mismanagement in the club's junior section. There are rumours that a high ranking board member has been secretly filmed saying something like "Young players are not worth bothering about. They come here and cannot even play football. They say they want to learn...yeah right. The only thing they are any good at is selling lottery tickets". The club takes immediate action and gives back two years worth of lottery money to the junior team. This costs the club 397 000 econ.
The club are already in debt, and after a disappointing 0-0 friendly, it looks like Murray may have a tougher task than first thought.
Nosy Parker, an investigative reporter has got hold of information about mismanagement in the club's junior section. There are rumours that a high ranking board member has been secretly filmed saying something like "Young players are not worth bothering about. They come here and cannot even play football. They say they want to learn...yeah right. The only thing they are any good at is selling lottery tickets". The club takes immediate action and gives back two years worth of lottery money to the junior team. This costs the club 397 000 econ.
The club are already in debt, and after a disappointing 0-0 friendly, it looks like Murray may have a tougher task than first thought.
dell draw
But does that mean Bonkers have the advantage or not. The first round of the preseason cup was a tame 0-0 draw. But it would have been better to get some goals away from home. But lets hope the team can get some goals and win the next leg on friday. Who knows, this is Bonkers, we could loose 8-0 and then win the day after 5-0.
dip stick
Benny Agnew was carrying out some maintenance on one of his valuable old cars yesterday, when he slipped and cut his hand quite badly on a sharp flange in the engine. The deep gash required hospital treatment and stitches, and as a result Benny Agnew loses quite a lot of blood. But he is still able to play football, although he won't be taking any throw-ins for a while.
Good Friendly
Arsenal Reserves had a great opening friendly as they beat These Charming Men 2-1 away. Brown was surprised at the win but he got his tactics pretty much spot on and unlike last season they took their chances well.
Brown is said to be being careful with that friendlies his team plays as the whole aim of pre season is to get form up to a really good level before the season kicks off
Brown is said to be being careful with that friendlies his team plays as the whole aim of pre season is to get form up to a really good level before the season kicks off
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Kensington in takeover deal !!
Kensington were involved in a takeover today and have been bought over by not-so-popular wine brand Blue Nun. The club will now be named Blue Nun FC, and the owners have appointed Edinburgh born manager Paul Murray as the man to lead the club out of division 1. Murray is confident that he can guide the club to the RM Invitational in his first season.
" Usually i've been known to build my own squad and be patient for success, but i've been fortunate enough to inherit a quality squad and i feel success can be achieved quickly with the side. It won't be easy but if everyone plays for each other, i'm sure we can get promotion. I know the side has the bottle after their dramatic last day escape and it's now just about installing some confidence into them, and getting them into a winning mentality. I will look to bring in one or two younger players when the funds are available to make sure the club keeps moving forward in the future and one or two will inevitably leave. I'm looking forward to the challenge though and we will be looking to arrange some friendlies as soon as possible, which will give me a better idea of what i've got to work with. "
" Usually i've been known to build my own squad and be patient for success, but i've been fortunate enough to inherit a quality squad and i feel success can be achieved quickly with the side. It won't be easy but if everyone plays for each other, i'm sure we can get promotion. I know the side has the bottle after their dramatic last day escape and it's now just about installing some confidence into them, and getting them into a winning mentality. I will look to bring in one or two younger players when the funds are available to make sure the club keeps moving forward in the future and one or two will inevitably leave. I'm looking forward to the challenge though and we will be looking to arrange some friendlies as soon as possible, which will give me a better idea of what i've got to work with. "
Welcome to a new manager/return of Cath
Welcome to our new manager Shineybobber who takes over from Patrik Patrik at Kensington Boys Club. I hope you all join me in wishing him the best of luck with the side he's inherited. We're a friendly bunch in the RMI Shineybobber so we all look forward to chatting to you and playing against you in the near future.
Also I'd like to announce that Cath has returned to the RMI. He's busy with exams and such but is just going to focus on the RMI and possibly one other league I think. Cath comes back to start with a new side called Villarreal CF. I'm sure like me you're all happy to have him back.
With these two new additions the RMI promises to be even tougher than last season!
Also we have a vacancy at Bayern Munich after Dimentis lost quota due to a lowering of his xpert rating. I'm not sure if he plans on returning so if you know anyone who may enjoy the RMI now is the time to get them to apply!
Also I'd like to announce that Cath has returned to the RMI. He's busy with exams and such but is just going to focus on the RMI and possibly one other league I think. Cath comes back to start with a new side called Villarreal CF. I'm sure like me you're all happy to have him back.
With these two new additions the RMI promises to be even tougher than last season!
Also we have a vacancy at Bayern Munich after Dimentis lost quota due to a lowering of his xpert rating. I'm not sure if he plans on returning so if you know anyone who may enjoy the RMI now is the time to get them to apply!
Pools Comp Season 8 - Final Standings
Sorry for the delay but here is the final standings for the Pools Comp from season 8. A massive well done to Baz78, he has a nack for the pools!!! You will get 1 months VIP from our Admin in due course.
Baz78 77
Joshy85 67
Wienersnitzel 66
DomBrown 56
Izuka 49
Xmensch 46
Linkinparkrocks 45
Dutch1985 40
Markham33 32
Rocky2803 32
Pbstev 27
Vehusheia 27
DBYC 25
RDCM 24
Dimentis 23
Jazza1958 23
STEVE532000 22
Blakey0500 12
RobinMeeblind 11
Djoxy1983 10
ConyTottee 6
Ajtrader100 6
Lexipie 5
Rothion 4
Talinmer 3
Darrencalvert 3
DaXtremist 2
Albaroo 1
Baz78 77
Joshy85 67
Wienersnitzel 66
DomBrown 56
Izuka 49
Xmensch 46
Linkinparkrocks 45
Dutch1985 40
Markham33 32
Rocky2803 32
Pbstev 27
Vehusheia 27
DBYC 25
RDCM 24
Dimentis 23
Jazza1958 23
STEVE532000 22
Blakey0500 12
RobinMeeblind 11
Djoxy1983 10
ConyTottee 6
Ajtrader100 6
Lexipie 5
Rothion 4
Talinmer 3
Darrencalvert 3
DaXtremist 2
Albaroo 1
Good Change Report Expected
Town News
Morley manager Leeg21 is expecting a good change report despite a lackluster season in Division 2, with Morley having lost the influential defender Mtchell Pennock - the 34 year old decided to hang up his boots and retire from the game at the end of this season - the defence needs to have an especially good change report.
All players have reached the minimum of 10 for development value and average form across the squad is very high so Morley are hopeful of some good improvements.
Morley manager Leeg21 is expecting a good change report despite a lackluster season in Division 2, with Morley having lost the influential defender Mtchell Pennock - the 34 year old decided to hang up his boots and retire from the game at the end of this season - the defence needs to have an especially good change report.
All players have reached the minimum of 10 for development value and average form across the squad is very high so Morley are hopeful of some good improvements.
Great Season
Gooners finished in third place after pushing Totaal, Santos and Thunder cats very close with their youngest/weakest squad available... despite only finishing third well behind Totaal, FMR remarked it was his most enjoyable season to date. He also took the opportunity to congratulate every manager on their efforts to make it so and enjoyed much of the action happening in all divisions.
The only disappointment this season for Gooners was Cesc who became injued and will not see a rise in skill, although he still found enough DV to ensure reaching a high 25/9 should not be an issue. The system did in fact target every player that was key to the change report during ther tail end of the season... but Busquets and Wellington had no issues holding their very high averages.
Tonight the change report will be delivered and we expect goood results all around. Next season looks very exciting and we look forward to pitting our wits against new teams.
The only disappointment this season for Gooners was Cesc who became injued and will not see a rise in skill, although he still found enough DV to ensure reaching a high 25/9 should not be an issue. The system did in fact target every player that was key to the change report during ther tail end of the season... but Busquets and Wellington had no issues holding their very high averages.
Tonight the change report will be delivered and we expect goood results all around. Next season looks very exciting and we look forward to pitting our wits against new teams.
it ALL came to NOTHING
Even after being top of the league for almost half of the season Allornothing finished fourth, missing out promotion. The last must win match against Holgate ended in a draw, much to the dissapointment of the away fans who came with a hope that The team will pull of a win. The manager said after the match," We apologise to the fans for such a horrible performance. But i promise team will be back next season with new spirit and give the fans something to cheer about. Well I still draw optimisim from this as we were not ready for division1. One more season will make the team strong enough to compete at the higher level."
New kits
Flare United's young Malaysian manager, Izuka, known for his sense of style and fashion among other attributes, has designed the club's new kits for the coming season in anticipation of a new era in Flare United's history. The clean orange home kit with white detailing has been released alongside an away kit in yellow with black detailing.
"We chose orange because we want Flare United to follow the example of league champions Totaalvoetbal. This relegation is a new beginning for Flare United. Many players may leave before the start of the new season, but I will bring in fresh talent to replace them," said Izuka at the launch of the new kits yesterday.
Flare United have a first round cup tie against St Omer in the RM Invitational pre-season cup.
"We chose orange because we want Flare United to follow the example of league champions Totaalvoetbal. This relegation is a new beginning for Flare United. Many players may leave before the start of the new season, but I will bring in fresh talent to replace them," said Izuka at the launch of the new kits yesterday.
Flare United have a first round cup tie against St Omer in the RM Invitational pre-season cup.
Pre-season cup draw
Round 1
Match 1 - Anime Allstars vs Soiled Undergarments
Match 2 - Kirkbride Strollers vs Crimea River
Match 3 - Inter Minan vs The Vikings
Match 4 - African Imitators vs Mshow FC
Match 5 - PSV Eindhoven vs Steaua Needarest
Match 6 - Classic 11 vs Bonkers
Match 7 - Rolling Thunder vs Carthage FC
Match 8 - Barnsley Chop FC vs Juventus
Match 9 - Totaalvoetbal vs FCR Cressex
Match 10 - Espada vs Gooners
Match 11 - AC Milan vs Bristol City
Match 12 - ALLORNOTHING vs White Hawk FC
Match 13 - ThunderCats F.C vs Splott Rovers
Match 14 - OAP Pop Punk vs Holgate Pathetic
Match 15 - St Omer vs Flare United
Match 16 - F.C. Greatness vs Alsancak F.C
Round 2
Match 17 - Winner of Match 7 vs Winner of Match 8
Match 18 - Winner of Match 11 vs Winner of Match 1
Match 19 - Winner of Match 3 vs Winner of Match 4
Match 20 - Winner of Match 6 vs Winner of Match 12
Match 21 - Winner of Match 10 vs Winner of Match 13
Match 22 - Winner of Match 14 vs Winner of Match 9
Match 23 - Winner of Match 15 vs Winner of Match 2
Match 24 - Winner of Match 5 vs Winner of Match 16
Quarterfinals
Match 25 - Winner of Match 17 vs Winner of Match 23
Match 26 - Winner of Match 19 vs Winner of Match 21
Match 27 - Winner of Match 18 vs Winner of Match 22
Match 28 - Winner of Match 24 vs Winner of Match 20
Semifinals
Match 29 - Winner of Match 27 vs Winner of Match 25
Match 30 - Winner of Match 28 vs Winner of Match 26
Final
Match 31 - Winner of Match 29 vs Winner of Match 30
This whole draw was made using an online cup draw generator. The first round will have two legs to be fair to both teams. Teams on the left will host teams on the right first in the first round. Teams on the left will be the home team in subsequent rounds. If a challenge is not made or not accepted, the team that has done wrong will lose 5-0 on walkover. All subsequent rounds will have only one leg as the whole cup cannot take too long.
Match 1 - Anime Allstars vs Soiled Undergarments
Match 2 - Kirkbride Strollers vs Crimea River
Match 3 - Inter Minan vs The Vikings
Match 4 - African Imitators vs Mshow FC
Match 5 - PSV Eindhoven vs Steaua Needarest
Match 6 - Classic 11 vs Bonkers
Match 7 - Rolling Thunder vs Carthage FC
Match 8 - Barnsley Chop FC vs Juventus
Match 9 - Totaalvoetbal vs FCR Cressex
Match 10 - Espada vs Gooners
Match 11 - AC Milan vs Bristol City
Match 12 - ALLORNOTHING vs White Hawk FC
Match 13 - ThunderCats F.C vs Splott Rovers
Match 14 - OAP Pop Punk vs Holgate Pathetic
Match 15 - St Omer vs Flare United
Match 16 - F.C. Greatness vs Alsancak F.C
Round 2
Match 17 - Winner of Match 7 vs Winner of Match 8
Match 18 - Winner of Match 11 vs Winner of Match 1
Match 19 - Winner of Match 3 vs Winner of Match 4
Match 20 - Winner of Match 6 vs Winner of Match 12
Match 21 - Winner of Match 10 vs Winner of Match 13
Match 22 - Winner of Match 14 vs Winner of Match 9
Match 23 - Winner of Match 15 vs Winner of Match 2
Match 24 - Winner of Match 5 vs Winner of Match 16
Quarterfinals
Match 25 - Winner of Match 17 vs Winner of Match 23
Match 26 - Winner of Match 19 vs Winner of Match 21
Match 27 - Winner of Match 18 vs Winner of Match 22
Match 28 - Winner of Match 24 vs Winner of Match 20
Semifinals
Match 29 - Winner of Match 27 vs Winner of Match 25
Match 30 - Winner of Match 28 vs Winner of Match 26
Final
Match 31 - Winner of Match 29 vs Winner of Match 30
This whole draw was made using an online cup draw generator. The first round will have two legs to be fair to both teams. Teams on the left will host teams on the right first in the first round. Teams on the left will be the home team in subsequent rounds. If a challenge is not made or not accepted, the team that has done wrong will lose 5-0 on walkover. All subsequent rounds will have only one leg as the whole cup cannot take too long.
Good Few Years
What a good few years manger @peace has had at Legends its the 2nd season in a row, we have managed to get our selves promoted to the top of rmi.I took over the club whilst they were in div 2 and have rebuilt since then. This really was ahard division but next season going to get much harder and i think 3 in a row is a big ask but we have ago
A good season...
Sir Linkinparkrocks was happy with his side's performance in his first stint at the club..Classic 11 finished 4th with 43 points, 2 behind Steaua Needarest..the side slipped-up against Anime Allstars FC in the penultimate game of the season and also lost to Crimson Tigers a month ago..though not promoted the manager was happy with his side's display given their limited resources after some poor signings..The side might have played party-pooper after beating wortley afc which enabled FCR Cressex to finish top of the standings.The manager appreciated his side's performance...
53 Point Totaal Finish on High
Totaalvoetbal gained another four points over the final two fixtures of the RMI season to be crowned champions with a 53-point haul.
A trip to Gooners saw the Oranje claim a point despite falling behind to an early Leonardo Borja free-kick. It would be Bosse Bong, returning from injury, who secured the point as he headed home on the stroke of half-time. With little else in the way of goalmouth action both sides seemed happy to play out time on a 1-1 draw.
The last game of the season proved a little more dramatic as an experimental Totaal side took on an F.C. Greatness team looking to avoid relegation. Indeed, Greatness would bombard the home side in the first 45 minutes and found themselves 2-0 ahead courtesy of Massimiliano Cardone and Alvaro Recoba. However, what followed would be a second-half collapse as a brace from Bong and a Pierre van Diemen strike completed a stirring comeback to hand Totaal a final day win.
Robin Meeblind said he hoped to see Daz bounce back at the first time of asking after a tough season for the Greatness club.
A trip to Gooners saw the Oranje claim a point despite falling behind to an early Leonardo Borja free-kick. It would be Bosse Bong, returning from injury, who secured the point as he headed home on the stroke of half-time. With little else in the way of goalmouth action both sides seemed happy to play out time on a 1-1 draw.
The last game of the season proved a little more dramatic as an experimental Totaal side took on an F.C. Greatness team looking to avoid relegation. Indeed, Greatness would bombard the home side in the first 45 minutes and found themselves 2-0 ahead courtesy of Massimiliano Cardone and Alvaro Recoba. However, what followed would be a second-half collapse as a brace from Bong and a Pierre van Diemen strike completed a stirring comeback to hand Totaal a final day win.
Robin Meeblind said he hoped to see Daz bounce back at the first time of asking after a tough season for the Greatness club.
Back To Back Promotion
For the 2nd season in a row, we have managed to get our selves promoted to div 1.
I took over the club whilst they were in div 1 and have rebuilt since then. This really was an exciting season and the last round of games couldn't have turned out any better for us. I was expecting Holgate to win and us finishing 3rd but Holgate only managed a draw and that allowed us to finish runner's up.
2wice we've finished runner's up to Juve, hopefully we can trump them next season.
We all wait in anticipation for the CR.
I took over the club whilst they were in div 1 and have rebuilt since then. This really was an exciting season and the last round of games couldn't have turned out any better for us. I was expecting Holgate to win and us finishing 3rd but Holgate only managed a draw and that allowed us to finish runner's up.
2wice we've finished runner's up to Juve, hopefully we can trump them next season.
We all wait in anticipation for the CR.
Update
With the season update only days away the excitement started to grow in the St Omer camp.
Hopefully Cony's players will improve and he will then spend his spare cash on trying to bring in some much needed experience as he finally looks to start climbing up the leagues.
Hopefully Cony's players will improve and he will then spend his spare cash on trying to bring in some much needed experience as he finally looks to start climbing up the leagues.
So Close Yet So Far . . . Again
With the season almost done and dusted Anime Allstars went into their final match still holding out hope of promotion no matter how slim the odds.
Celebrations were cut short and by half time the Allstars knew promotion was out of their grasp with their close rivals 0-3 up at half time and Anime still 0-0. The second half would see Anime dominate as St. Omer were reduced to 10 men the Allstars mirrored their oppenents result with a 5-0 Pasting but manager Joshy will have to wait yet another season for promotion and had this to say...
" It was a close finish but the odds were stacked against us. Our poor start to the season and the 2 defeats from the last 4 matches of the season killed out promotion charge this time. We didn't give up and gave it 100% all the way i cannot ask no more from my players. Hopefully next season lady luck will visit us she is long over due for a visit..."
Celebrations were cut short and by half time the Allstars knew promotion was out of their grasp with their close rivals 0-3 up at half time and Anime still 0-0. The second half would see Anime dominate as St. Omer were reduced to 10 men the Allstars mirrored their oppenents result with a 5-0 Pasting but manager Joshy will have to wait yet another season for promotion and had this to say...
" It was a close finish but the odds were stacked against us. Our poor start to the season and the 2 defeats from the last 4 matches of the season killed out promotion charge this time. We didn't give up and gave it 100% all the way i cannot ask no more from my players. Hopefully next season lady luck will visit us she is long over due for a visit..."
Promotion is Ours
And Thank bejasus for that.
It was nervous times for the Steaua Needaresti club when it came to final day games.
A draw for the Needaresti and it would have boiled down to goal difference which would have been a harsh way to determine the 3rd place finisher.
However with an emphatic win, Steaua controlled their own fate and secured their promotion after getting so close last season and falling a at the final hurdle....
It was nervous times for the Steaua Needaresti club when it came to final day games.
A draw for the Needaresti and it would have boiled down to goal difference which would have been a harsh way to determine the 3rd place finisher.
However with an emphatic win, Steaua controlled their own fate and secured their promotion after getting so close last season and falling a at the final hurdle....
Division 1 Bound!
Arsenal reserves are heading for division 1 after a season of DV for the youth team. There was a couple of surprise wins along the way but the season ended as expected.
Everyone is hoping for a decent CR so the team can stay in division 1. But with the 2nd youngest team in the whole league it might be a tall order
Everyone is hoping for a decent CR so the team can stay in division 1. But with the 2nd youngest team in the whole league it might be a tall order
Wow!
We knew even our win without help from others won't be enough for third place. And that situation couldn't be worse our competitors for third place in Division 1, Espada has played with Soiled Undergarments. The team is been locked to last place with no win in whole season! So, we practicly got faced with unpleasant fourth place but the miracle happened. We had won on strange match full of injuries and red cards and Soiled Undergarments has played draw!
And that means we are back to top division next season! Well done
And that means we are back to top division next season! Well done
Poor season comes to a close!
AC Milan made their final game of the season a last chance for all the youngsters to gain some playing time and dv. As it turned out, it was almost a waste of time as none of the youngsters gained dv, and on top of that Milan only drew the game in a 0-0 bore draw.
Milan will now hope for some positive surprises in the CR but aren't expecting many changes with most players having dv's of 15 or 12.
Milan will now hope for some positive surprises in the CR but aren't expecting many changes with most players having dv's of 15 or 12.
Ith the Right Choice
A shiver of anticipation coursed through the Crimea River press room this morning as club press officer Helen Earth announced that multi millionaire playboy and club head coach Ithaqua would finally break his several month long press silence.
"Good morning," enthused long time missing coach, "and thank you all for coming. Before we begin I would just like to take a moment to address recent claims by one Ajtrader100. I guess we all know Mr Trader has a temperament bordering on borderline at best but I, for the life of me, cannot fathom his recent frothy-mouthed press statement."
"Now I am not sure who read election expose to him but clearly some of the bigger words must have confused Mr Trader. So, to clarify, the report was published on respected Crimean news website Kafa by Pulitzer prize winning reporter Edna Clouds based on sources from within the RMI high command. At no point was I approached for, or did I offer to, comment on the investigation. Hopefully that will put that matter to bed."
"I would also like to take this opportunity to thank one Mr Kilie_gers. As I am sure some of you are well aware I recently won a substantial amount on the Euromillions lottery. Acting on a tip-off from a "source in the know" I recently invested those winnings in the white ankle sock industry. An industry you are also no doubt aware that has seen orders and profits explode in the wake of Mr _gers revelations about the preferences of RMI league overlord INXS. Now I can bathe in cash and Jamaican rum every night and it is all thanks to Kilie."
"Moving onto matters a little more recent. I can assure you I was more stunned than anyone to see I have been nominated as part of Admin Idol. Clearly there can only be one winner here and, in true political style, I am not here to tell you to vote for me but instead why should not vote for the other candidates."
"Franco Mussolini Mosley Killemall Realism, or as you may know him FMRealism, currently leads the standings and all I can ask myself is why? This is a man who within minutes cried about getting no votes despite being the mastermind behind a massive familial conspiracy to stitch up the contest from the get go."
"A plan Mr Realism might have got away with had he not given the game away by voting for someone else so sure was he of his victory! He has already deviously misled Riversideshep and appears to have hoodwinked DomBrown too. Is this the sort of amoral criminal mastermind we want helping to run this league. I don not know about you but I, for one, am convinced this league needs less Realism."
"Moving on we come to Carbonmonoxide. Now Carbonmonoxide is a man I know little about, but I did some research and what I found was shocking. Simply shocking stuff. Apparently Carbonmonoxide is colourless, odourless and poisonous to humans. Poisonous. To. Humans."
"Also Carbonmonoxide is denser than air, and air is not particularly smart at the best of times, hence the term "air-head" or Donna Air. Finally the chemical symbol for Carbonmonoxide is CO, or Conscientious Objector. Do we really want a Conscientious Objector running this league? I think not. Vote No to objectionable, stupid and poisonous in the RMI!"
"What can I say about Sqiurecoley that has not already been said before. Actually there is not much I know about Sqiurecoley. But I can say this I am pretty sure he is a cad and bounder of the highest order. And he probably kicks puppies."
"Also he is neither ninja or pirate and can easily be discounted from the contest for that reason alone."
"Ajtrader100. A MANager I really cannot say a bad word about. The man is a tool and no doubt about it."
"If you need a job done then Aj is just the tool you need. Subtle as a sledgehammer to the nutsacks mind but a handy tool to have around just the same. Obviously his mental instability is an issue. As well as his apparent inability to read. Perhaps of most concern though is Mr Traders apparent unwillingness to ever give a straight answer to three simple questions, to wit: What is an "Aj"? Why would one trade in them? And what happened to the first 99 Ajtraders?"
"Finally we get to the RMI version of a personality black hole, Kilie_gers. Let us take a quick look at the edited highlights of the _gers manifesto, "Destroy the admin team and the plebs...no peasants shall be heard!", "I promise to molest, sexually or otherwise, any member of the league (a promise I will make)", "I has no idea what DV is.", "I shall hold balls" and "I fight naked". Hoisted by his own petard I feel."
"However the deciding factor in this election will not be who you or I vote for but where The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy and however many accounts he is running these days places their block vote." concluded the controversial, and nouveau riche, head coach.
"Good morning," enthused long time missing coach, "and thank you all for coming. Before we begin I would just like to take a moment to address recent claims by one Ajtrader100. I guess we all know Mr Trader has a temperament bordering on borderline at best but I, for the life of me, cannot fathom his recent frothy-mouthed press statement."
"Now I am not sure who read election expose to him but clearly some of the bigger words must have confused Mr Trader. So, to clarify, the report was published on respected Crimean news website Kafa by Pulitzer prize winning reporter Edna Clouds based on sources from within the RMI high command. At no point was I approached for, or did I offer to, comment on the investigation. Hopefully that will put that matter to bed."
"I would also like to take this opportunity to thank one Mr Kilie_gers. As I am sure some of you are well aware I recently won a substantial amount on the Euromillions lottery. Acting on a tip-off from a "source in the know" I recently invested those winnings in the white ankle sock industry. An industry you are also no doubt aware that has seen orders and profits explode in the wake of Mr _gers revelations about the preferences of RMI league overlord INXS. Now I can bathe in cash and Jamaican rum every night and it is all thanks to Kilie."
"Moving onto matters a little more recent. I can assure you I was more stunned than anyone to see I have been nominated as part of Admin Idol. Clearly there can only be one winner here and, in true political style, I am not here to tell you to vote for me but instead why should not vote for the other candidates."
"Franco Mussolini Mosley Killemall Realism, or as you may know him FMRealism, currently leads the standings and all I can ask myself is why? This is a man who within minutes cried about getting no votes despite being the mastermind behind a massive familial conspiracy to stitch up the contest from the get go."
"A plan Mr Realism might have got away with had he not given the game away by voting for someone else so sure was he of his victory! He has already deviously misled Riversideshep and appears to have hoodwinked DomBrown too. Is this the sort of amoral criminal mastermind we want helping to run this league. I don not know about you but I, for one, am convinced this league needs less Realism."
"Moving on we come to Carbonmonoxide. Now Carbonmonoxide is a man I know little about, but I did some research and what I found was shocking. Simply shocking stuff. Apparently Carbonmonoxide is colourless, odourless and poisonous to humans. Poisonous. To. Humans."
"Also Carbonmonoxide is denser than air, and air is not particularly smart at the best of times, hence the term "air-head" or Donna Air. Finally the chemical symbol for Carbonmonoxide is CO, or Conscientious Objector. Do we really want a Conscientious Objector running this league? I think not. Vote No to objectionable, stupid and poisonous in the RMI!"
"What can I say about Sqiurecoley that has not already been said before. Actually there is not much I know about Sqiurecoley. But I can say this I am pretty sure he is a cad and bounder of the highest order. And he probably kicks puppies."
"Also he is neither ninja or pirate and can easily be discounted from the contest for that reason alone."
"Ajtrader100. A MANager I really cannot say a bad word about. The man is a tool and no doubt about it."
"If you need a job done then Aj is just the tool you need. Subtle as a sledgehammer to the nutsacks mind but a handy tool to have around just the same. Obviously his mental instability is an issue. As well as his apparent inability to read. Perhaps of most concern though is Mr Traders apparent unwillingness to ever give a straight answer to three simple questions, to wit: What is an "Aj"? Why would one trade in them? And what happened to the first 99 Ajtraders?"
"Finally we get to the RMI version of a personality black hole, Kilie_gers. Let us take a quick look at the edited highlights of the _gers manifesto, "Destroy the admin team and the plebs...no peasants shall be heard!", "I promise to molest, sexually or otherwise, any member of the league (a promise I will make)", "I has no idea what DV is.", "I shall hold balls" and "I fight naked". Hoisted by his own petard I feel."
"However the deciding factor in this election will not be who you or I vote for but where The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy and however many accounts he is running these days places their block vote." concluded the controversial, and nouveau riche, head coach.
All or nothing....
It was always going to come to this....
Holgate Athletic host ALLORNOTHING in the last game of the season in a one game play off for promotion. With Juventus looking like champions and PSV very likely to win their last game it means that the third promotion spot will be decised in our game.
Holgate have a slight advantage and a draw would see them through, unfortunatley Holgate's home form has been woeful this season so it is far from a forgone conclusion. Its been a really tight promotion campaign and whoever goes up should hold their own in Div 1 next season.
Holgate Athletic host ALLORNOTHING in the last game of the season in a one game play off for promotion. With Juventus looking like champions and PSV very likely to win their last game it means that the third promotion spot will be decised in our game.
Holgate have a slight advantage and a draw would see them through, unfortunatley Holgate's home form has been woeful this season so it is far from a forgone conclusion. Its been a really tight promotion campaign and whoever goes up should hold their own in Div 1 next season.
Clarifying the situation.
The Undergarments manager was fizzing with rage this afternoon as he took his seat at the front of the press room.
"First things first you bunch of bastards...there has been a lot of nonsense written about me this week and let me tell you this, I am not at all happy about it!" he squealed.
"The admin of this league, YMCA, was the first to talk shite about me this week claiming I sent him a naked photograph of myself. To be honest, that was true, but he failed to tell you why I sent the photo"
"Here is a copy of an email sent to myself from YMCA, hopefully this will help you all understand why I sent a pornographic image of myself" he teased.
Dear Kilie
As you know, I am the admin of this league and what I say goes! This is what I need from you, I need you to send to me a naughty photograph of yourself wearing nothing but white ankle socks. I want it to be full frontal and I want you to be biting your lip whilst winking and wanking.
If you don't do this I will come round to your house and shit in your pillow, jizz in your VCR player and steal your Little House on the Prairie novels.
Yours, YMCA.
P.S Yes, I am homosexual and I make love to NobbinMeBum thrice fortnightly.
"So, fair minded press officers of the RMI, you can see why I sent the photograph can't you? I am sure you all would have done the same thing" he concluded.
"Boss, what about the recent rumours of a league shake up and you being part of the admin team?" asked a sexually aroused Enid Blyton.
"Blyton, get the fuck out of this room. You're not a press officer at all you disease ridden whore" he blasted
"But it is a fair question" he continued. "I have heard various rumours circulating about a shake up and that I might be invited to join the team and I have to say I am intrigued. If I was asked to join YMCA's admin team I would have to seriously consider it"
"Let's be honest, league admin assistants are rarely sexually molested by the admin himself so that has to be a major factor in my decision. I am sick of being touched up all the time by that pervert" mused the Garments gaffer.
"In fact, I shall say now if I am asked to join the team then I would accept. I feel it is my duty to try and bring some respect and decorum back to the RMI"
"As for the other names being banded about as possible assistants. I can't comment on them...apart from that I don't like any of them at all. They are all fannies of the highest order and should have been shot years ago. But I shall reserve judgment on them...they are nobbers though, especially Ithaqueer" he proclaimed.
"Right, thats all you're getting from me today. Can you all kindly piss off and leave me to touch myself in peace"
These comments from the rational and balanced manager are sure to send ripples of excitement through the RMI.
"First things first you bunch of bastards...there has been a lot of nonsense written about me this week and let me tell you this, I am not at all happy about it!" he squealed.
"The admin of this league, YMCA, was the first to talk shite about me this week claiming I sent him a naked photograph of myself. To be honest, that was true, but he failed to tell you why I sent the photo"
"Here is a copy of an email sent to myself from YMCA, hopefully this will help you all understand why I sent a pornographic image of myself" he teased.
Dear Kilie
As you know, I am the admin of this league and what I say goes! This is what I need from you, I need you to send to me a naughty photograph of yourself wearing nothing but white ankle socks. I want it to be full frontal and I want you to be biting your lip whilst winking and wanking.
If you don't do this I will come round to your house and shit in your pillow, jizz in your VCR player and steal your Little House on the Prairie novels.
Yours, YMCA.
P.S Yes, I am homosexual and I make love to NobbinMeBum thrice fortnightly.
"So, fair minded press officers of the RMI, you can see why I sent the photograph can't you? I am sure you all would have done the same thing" he concluded.
"Boss, what about the recent rumours of a league shake up and you being part of the admin team?" asked a sexually aroused Enid Blyton.
"Blyton, get the fuck out of this room. You're not a press officer at all you disease ridden whore" he blasted
"But it is a fair question" he continued. "I have heard various rumours circulating about a shake up and that I might be invited to join the team and I have to say I am intrigued. If I was asked to join YMCA's admin team I would have to seriously consider it"
"Let's be honest, league admin assistants are rarely sexually molested by the admin himself so that has to be a major factor in my decision. I am sick of being touched up all the time by that pervert" mused the Garments gaffer.
"In fact, I shall say now if I am asked to join the team then I would accept. I feel it is my duty to try and bring some respect and decorum back to the RMI"
"As for the other names being banded about as possible assistants. I can't comment on them...apart from that I don't like any of them at all. They are all fannies of the highest order and should have been shot years ago. But I shall reserve judgment on them...they are nobbers though, especially Ithaqueer" he proclaimed.
"Right, thats all you're getting from me today. Can you all kindly piss off and leave me to touch myself in peace"
These comments from the rational and balanced manager are sure to send ripples of excitement through the RMI.
crucial point
A 0-0 bore draw didn't make for the greatest game in the world but the Splott faithful know it could be cucial in securing their RMI status next season. To be fair we had the chances to win the game, but it was important not to lose and barring a disaster on the last day Splott should hopefully have done enough to stay up
Its In Our Hands
The promotion race in div 2 is certainly the tightest I have ever come across. With allornothing losing yesterday, 1 point separates the top 3 after likely champions Juve.
Good news for psv is that p2 and p3 will take points off each other, so should we manage a victory in our next game, we get promoted, (which will be just fantastic)
Good news for psv is that p2 and p3 will take points off each other, so should we manage a victory in our next game, we get promoted, (which will be just fantastic)
Ithaqua having a Four King laugh
ASSistant-wanabee in election slur.
The Crimea River coach sensationally began a slur campaign against fellow RMI managers in the run up to a league shake up. The allegations ranged from down right sensationalist to the total bizarre.
The has-been/never-was boss's jealousy boiled over in a typical Ithaquaesque style rant, claiming that any future promotions to the upper echelons of the RMI have already been decided. A claim vehemently denied by chief wig DBYC.
Instead now fingers point at the self-proclaimed blower of the RMI whistle, Ithaqua; as lawyers enter the fray after an attempted injuction by the "Four Kings" (Trader, Kilie, Coley and DBYC), to stop any more malicious rumours by the underperforming and much disliked manager....
The saga continues.
The Crimea River coach sensationally began a slur campaign against fellow RMI managers in the run up to a league shake up. The allegations ranged from down right sensationalist to the total bizarre.
The has-been/never-was boss's jealousy boiled over in a typical Ithaquaesque style rant, claiming that any future promotions to the upper echelons of the RMI have already been decided. A claim vehemently denied by chief wig DBYC.
Instead now fingers point at the self-proclaimed blower of the RMI whistle, Ithaqua; as lawyers enter the fray after an attempted injuction by the "Four Kings" (Trader, Kilie, Coley and DBYC), to stop any more malicious rumours by the underperforming and much disliked manager....
The saga continues.
Strikers go awol!
AC Milan had a masiive break down between the players this evening after they lost 1-0 at home. The defense was very angry withe the performance of the forwards especially as thy had battled so hard whilst the forwards all underperformed and were simply crap not carving out even one chance on goal. The fans shared the defences frustrations and voiced their dissapointment with the players.
That being said Milan are officially safe from relegation which is at least a small positive after todays results.
That being said Milan are officially safe from relegation which is at least a small positive after todays results.
going down
It looks like Bonkers have imploded this season, with a good start to the season the team were thinking of competing with the top places but then it all started to unravel. Bonkers. Now it looks like Bonkers will go down unless a unbelievable miracle happens. Pity, but hopefully the team will come together next season.
chocolate balls
the only kinda balls these guys are ever gonna be good with is the ones that melt in your mouth, mmmmm.... the taste of defeat, salty. It will be many seasons before this team is up to scratch and even then you got to worry if they will ever be good enough!!!
Good Start
New Manager of EspAda has got off to a good start with a much needed 4-2 win over the Kensington Boys Club who put in a brave performance. An eventful first half saw EspAda race into a 3-0 lead after just half an hour but the Boys Club got a goal back just before the break. After a goal each in the second half that was the end of the match.
In an postmatch interview Dutch said "I was impressed with the lads, this is a great club and were confident of finishing the job on friday."
EspAda now have promotion all in their own hands and a win against already relegated Soiled Undergarments will take them into the top league.
In an postmatch interview Dutch said "I was impressed with the lads, this is a great club and were confident of finishing the job on friday."
EspAda now have promotion all in their own hands and a win against already relegated Soiled Undergarments will take them into the top league.
Bad Defeat
Arsenal Reserves were handed a heavy defeat as Flare United hammered them 4-0. Brown counts himself lucky as it could have been alot worse. With ratings so high Brown wonders how Flare United are second from bottom.
With just one game left it should be a tense finish as a few teams fight to stay up but 2 more will join Arsenal in D1
With just one game left it should be a tense finish as a few teams fight to stay up but 2 more will join Arsenal in D1
Ten Kings Shall Arise
In a revelation sure to rock the RobinMeeblind Invitational to its very core Crimean news website Kafa today reported a huge shake-up of the league is planned by the RMI ruling council.
According to the article published by Kafa undercover reporter Edna Clouds sources from within the ruling council uncomfortable with the direction proposed by league overlord The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy have come forward with a series of startling claims.
Perhaps the most worrying allegation is the revelation that The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy has grown tired of recent falling standards in boot-licking, grape-peeling and general sycophancy from the existing circle of RMI assistants and seeks to recruit some, as the source put it, 'fresh meat from the great unwashed'. While Clouds was unable to secure a complete list of names under consideration it is believed that managers the calibre of Kilington Underscore Gerssteinmetsson the 31st, Aloysius Judas Discount-Warehouse Trader the 100th and Squire Coley Sqiurecoley Esquire will be approached and offered plum positions within this RMI New World Order.
According to the source all three MANagers have already attended the RMI ivory tower with a series of deals being struck behind closed doors to ensure a seemless transition into power. Worryingly it would seem The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy's Machiavellian scheme does not end there. Allegedly plans are afoot in the ivory corridors of power to hoodwink the remaining RMI MANagers by staging an election. Or should I say a rigged election.
Within days a poll is expected to be announced, a poll designed to lull MANagers into thinking they have some say in the future shaping of the league despite the league future already signed, sealed and locked safely away somewhere in the RMI Corridors of Power.
In conclusion we leave you with a quote recorded from a final fateful meeting as The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy finally stamped his seal of approval on this nefarious scheme,
“MANagers are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions. Haha, Hahaha. Hahahaha... No Robin, you’ve had your fair share of the cookies, leave some for RDCM.”
According to the article published by Kafa undercover reporter Edna Clouds sources from within the ruling council uncomfortable with the direction proposed by league overlord The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy have come forward with a series of startling claims.
Perhaps the most worrying allegation is the revelation that The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy has grown tired of recent falling standards in boot-licking, grape-peeling and general sycophancy from the existing circle of RMI assistants and seeks to recruit some, as the source put it, 'fresh meat from the great unwashed'. While Clouds was unable to secure a complete list of names under consideration it is believed that managers the calibre of Kilington Underscore Gerssteinmetsson the 31st, Aloysius Judas Discount-Warehouse Trader the 100th and Squire Coley Sqiurecoley Esquire will be approached and offered plum positions within this RMI New World Order.
According to the source all three MANagers have already attended the RMI ivory tower with a series of deals being struck behind closed doors to ensure a seemless transition into power. Worryingly it would seem The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy's Machiavellian scheme does not end there. Allegedly plans are afoot in the ivory corridors of power to hoodwink the remaining RMI MANagers by staging an election. Or should I say a rigged election.
Within days a poll is expected to be announced, a poll designed to lull MANagers into thinking they have some say in the future shaping of the league despite the league future already signed, sealed and locked safely away somewhere in the RMI Corridors of Power.
In conclusion we leave you with a quote recorded from a final fateful meeting as The-Admin-Formerly-Known-As-Paddy finally stamped his seal of approval on this nefarious scheme,
“MANagers are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions. Haha, Hahaha. Hahahaha... No Robin, you’ve had your fair share of the cookies, leave some for RDCM.”
Cracking under the pressure?
Dragged into the midst of a relegation battle, needing anything from no points from their remaining games to 6 points the pressure seems to have got to Pop Punk manager Paddy Mckeever. We found Paddy in the corner of a room at Ronan Keating Towers the headquarters of the RMI administration, Paddy was curled up in a ball rocking backwards and forwards looking overwhelmed and horrified. We asked him if it was the pressure of the relegation battle or because of the fans calling for him to be fired as Pop Punk were doing fine before he rashly fired experienced highly skilled players Tony Adams and Lance Legweak but what Paddy revealed to us was something much much worse:
"Pressure? what pressure? I eat pressure for breakfast, I'm horrified and definitely shaken to my core because Kilie_gers just sent me a picture message of himself naked. I'm mentally scarred for life now. The relegation battle is insignificant compared to the horror I've just witnessed, no one should have to go through that, in fact I'm the process of sending his wife a medal"
So it turns out Paddy hasn't cracked up yet and no one will be surprised to hear that Kilie may very well be a sexual deviant.
"Pressure? what pressure? I eat pressure for breakfast, I'm horrified and definitely shaken to my core because Kilie_gers just sent me a picture message of himself naked. I'm mentally scarred for life now. The relegation battle is insignificant compared to the horror I've just witnessed, no one should have to go through that, in fact I'm the process of sending his wife a medal"
So it turns out Paddy hasn't cracked up yet and no one will be surprised to hear that Kilie may very well be a sexual deviant.
Welcome to another new manager.
Welcome to Dutch1985 who takes over Espada after Crismorena sadly departed from xpert eleven altogether.
I'm sure you'll all join me in welcoming Dutch1985 to the RMI and wishing him luck in the promotion battle he finds his new side in.
I'm sure you'll all join me in welcoming Dutch1985 to the RMI and wishing him luck in the promotion battle he finds his new side in.
Totaalvoetbal Claim Second Title
Totaalvoetbal hit scoring form to clinch two wins and the title this past week.
Firstly, they travelled to a somewhat underprepared OAP Pop Punk and eased to a 3-0 victory despite playing an unorthodox formation. Zlatan Izuhimovic would net with two headers to continue his fine season while Shirsh Vajpayee scored a screamer himself as Totaal claimed the three points.
This gave them the opportunity to claim the title at home to Splott and they would be in no mood to squander the chance. Another brace from Izuhimovic and an Antonello Ballarin free-kick had them 3-0 up and cruising before their talisman duly got in on the act. With celebratory scenes all around Pierre van Diemen broke clear to add a fourth before swiftly netting a fifth to put the finishing touches to a second title for the Oranje.
Firstly, they travelled to a somewhat underprepared OAP Pop Punk and eased to a 3-0 victory despite playing an unorthodox formation. Zlatan Izuhimovic would net with two headers to continue his fine season while Shirsh Vajpayee scored a screamer himself as Totaal claimed the three points.
This gave them the opportunity to claim the title at home to Splott and they would be in no mood to squander the chance. Another brace from Izuhimovic and an Antonello Ballarin free-kick had them 3-0 up and cruising before their talisman duly got in on the act. With celebratory scenes all around Pierre van Diemen broke clear to add a fourth before swiftly netting a fifth to put the finishing touches to a second title for the Oranje.
Carthage Promoted
Carthage FC have officially been promoted into the RMI Prem. Although always a season's development behind all the other teams and having started at the bottom of Division 3, Carthage have finally reached the heights of the premiership.
It's been a long time coming and we've started right from the very bottom. We've stuck with the team and kept playing the game of catch-up. Finally we get our first crack at the title and we easily have a team capable of taking the title, first time of asking. We're expecting a promising change report and maybe a few moves in the transfer market.
Blakey0500 said 'Expect Carthage to be serious contenders, we're going for the crown, this is our best chance at the title, and we'll be going all out!!!!'
It's been a long time coming and we've started right from the very bottom. We've stuck with the team and kept playing the game of catch-up. Finally we get our first crack at the title and we easily have a team capable of taking the title, first time of asking. We're expecting a promising change report and maybe a few moves in the transfer market.
Blakey0500 said 'Expect Carthage to be serious contenders, we're going for the crown, this is our best chance at the title, and we'll be going all out!!!!'
Future Looks Bright
FMR was happy with this weeks results and players form, Gooners got their first victory over Greatness with a much weakened starting eleven and a very young side showed former Santos how to play football for long periods of their last game. The young team in fact came very close to grabbing a point and only lost focus in the dying moments.
Gooners boss FMR is very happy with the season he has had at Highbury this term... it was a season where the only focus was with building a foundation of players as he refuses to sell the experienced stars and still feels they can take top honors! What followed though was a terrific season full of positive results and any points that have been lost on the whole were at cost of DV... they won almost every game they set out to win!
DV and average form have seen new heights and everything is in place to have a real crack at the title, some may look at next season and say there are too many strong teams... but FMR feels that with many big squads more points will be lost amongst the favourites and Gooners should be able to make the most of that next season.
Injury to Cesc may have effected next seasons bid and something will need to be done about the keeping position.. but FMR is confident he can get the most from this CR and make a real title bid over the next two seasons as planned... and safe in the knowledge after reirements there is plenty coming through to create a stronger squad and a tidy bank balance.
He finished by saying the next two games may not be pretty but it essential to our future plans and we dont really have much left to prove this season we have be fantastic!
Gooners boss FMR is very happy with the season he has had at Highbury this term... it was a season where the only focus was with building a foundation of players as he refuses to sell the experienced stars and still feels they can take top honors! What followed though was a terrific season full of positive results and any points that have been lost on the whole were at cost of DV... they won almost every game they set out to win!
DV and average form have seen new heights and everything is in place to have a real crack at the title, some may look at next season and say there are too many strong teams... but FMR feels that with many big squads more points will be lost amongst the favourites and Gooners should be able to make the most of that next season.
Injury to Cesc may have effected next seasons bid and something will need to be done about the keeping position.. but FMR is confident he can get the most from this CR and make a real title bid over the next two seasons as planned... and safe in the knowledge after reirements there is plenty coming through to create a stronger squad and a tidy bank balance.
He finished by saying the next two games may not be pretty but it essential to our future plans and we dont really have much left to prove this season we have be fantastic!
The great escape?
Flare United could be on the way to writing a legendary tale of a season. In the relegation zone from the beginning, they've had a decent second half of the season, and wins in their final two games against Arsenal Reserves and AFC Stanley could very well see them claw their way out of the relegation zone, with either Splott Rovers, OAP Pop Punk or ThunderCats F.C dropping in in their place.
Two in a row
Legends win there 2nd title in a row with two games to spare and will be looking to play there youth in the last two games. Manger @peace had a few people to thank starting with his chairman for giveing him the chance and to the players for always giving a 100% at all times and with two more years on my contract im hoping to make it three titles in a row
Two Games Left - Not Going Up
Town News
Morley have two games remaining but no chance of promotion after a disappointing season, particularly against the top four teams, manager Leeg21 will use the final games to ensure all players acheive a development value of 10 to make sure his team has a strong change report.
Morley can have an affect on where the Division 2 title goes as AllOrNothing visit Scatcherd Park on wednesday evening.
Morley have two games remaining but no chance of promotion after a disappointing season, particularly against the top four teams, manager Leeg21 will use the final games to ensure all players acheive a development value of 10 to make sure his team has a strong change report.
Morley can have an affect on where the Division 2 title goes as AllOrNothing visit Scatcherd Park on wednesday evening.
A point behind..
Classic 11 eased past LionHearts FC with an effortless 3-0 win at Veltins Arena..However the biggest setback for the side was the injury to Maton who had just returned from injury..The striker will miss the upcoming games and the manager feels his absence could affect the side's performance and is hopes for some inspiration from the mid-field.
going down
Probably the truth being told here, Bonkers will be going down. Unless, we get lucky and win one more game. but with all the youngsters getting lots of game time this is very unlikely. But with the talent in the team being pushed onto true skill, a lower division could be dominated next season.
A WIN!!!
Arsenal Reserves picked up a second win of the season. The win came as a nice surprise as they beat AFC Stanley 4-2 at home. Brown is not sure if AFC put less effort in because of our squad and league position but Arsenal have put in some respectful games over the season with lots of positives for Brown to take home.
Fabergas was top draw and he bagged himself a hat trick. Simpson was another stand out player as he played well above his normal skill level.
Fabergas was top draw and he bagged himself a hat trick. Simpson was another stand out player as he played well above his normal skill level.
Milan battle hard to earn point!
AC Milan didn't expect anything from their visit to Holgate Pathetic and so put out a weakened team including their 2bar 16yr. However the young team showed their stubborness and battled hard to earn their team and very deserving point against far stronger opposition who underperformed.
It was a brilliant bonus for Milan who now need one win from one of their remaining home games. They will hope they can secure that against Alsancak in the next game though it will be incredibly difficult. Milan are also hopeing results go in their favour in other games taking place to hopefully mean that there won't be anything riding on ther final match of the season against Bonkers.
It was a brilliant bonus for Milan who now need one win from one of their remaining home games. They will hope they can secure that against Alsancak in the next game though it will be incredibly difficult. Milan are also hopeing results go in their favour in other games taking place to hopefully mean that there won't be anything riding on ther final match of the season against Bonkers.
Pathetic home form
Holgate Pathetic manager Riverside Shep is frustrated at his teams latest dropped points. Holgate drew 1-1 at home and fall to third in the league. Holgate are currently way ahead of the rest of the division in the away league table but a poor 7th at home. Another win or two at home at Holgate would be promoted already so it is bloody annoying.
Next up bonkers away then an all or nothing 6 pointer against all or nothing in the last game.
Division 2 has been as tight as a very tight thing this seaon and it will go to the wire.....
Next up bonkers away then an all or nothing 6 pointer against all or nothing in the last game.
Division 2 has been as tight as a very tight thing this seaon and it will go to the wire.....
Coach Goes for Short Ramble
A 3-1 over St. Omer followed by a 1-5 defeat to Rolling Thunder sees Crimes River safely nestled towards the foot of division 3.
Still, with only a couple of games until the season finale it is all about wringing out those last few precious points of DV.
Still, with only a couple of games until the season finale it is all about wringing out those last few precious points of DV.
2 games to go
And the lads from Needaresti are still in with a shout at promotion.
After a close fought 1-0 win against St Omer, with Cont Tottee making his 1st return to his old stomping ground, The Steaua team currently sit 3rd and are deep in the depths of squeaky bum time.
Up next they face former table toppers Rolling Thunder who now want to get back in the promotion spots themselves ....
After a close fought 1-0 win against St Omer, with Cont Tottee making his 1st return to his old stomping ground, The Steaua team currently sit 3rd and are deep in the depths of squeaky bum time.
Up next they face former table toppers Rolling Thunder who now want to get back in the promotion spots themselves ....
need points
a 1-1 draw at home against santos isn't a terrible result but we need to pick up another 3 points from somewhere and I can't see it coming in our next match against Totaalvoetbal... lets hope other results go our way and then see who we can bring in for the next season
Harsh Injury
Eldad Amin was badly injured in Arsenal Reserves last match against These Charming Men. He will be out until at least 08/11/10, this means he will miss the rest of the season and some of the pre season. His form has hit rock bottom and it will be a desperate race to try and keep his AF and DV at a somewhat respectable level. Everyone is wishing him well and hopes this does not effect his CR.
Wrong keeper for Milan!
Milan had every chance of taking something from todays gam away to the far stronger Morley Town. But ultimately they just fell short.
With Milan having 2 keepers on top of their form at the moment the manager decided to go with experience but you never know that if he went with youth maybe the rsult would ave been different.
As it is Milan now travel to Holgate next, their nightmare team and expect to get a thrashing before having 2 home games to save themselves from relgation. One win will do it, 3 games to go, can they survive?
With Milan having 2 keepers on top of their form at the moment the manager decided to go with experience but you never know that if he went with youth maybe the rsult would ave been different.
As it is Milan now travel to Holgate next, their nightmare team and expect to get a thrashing before having 2 home games to save themselves from relgation. One win will do it, 3 games to go, can they survive?
No Complaints
PSV manager doesnt sound too dejected after losing 3-0 to Juve in a one sided matche
"Im quite happy really, we had 2 key players out and against Juve you cant afford that. 3 points is a big difference considering our close the league is but there are still some key games to be played. we'll still try for the promotion push tho." All I really did was pick a team and send the boys out, some younger players got some good exp points as well."
"Im quite happy really, we had 2 key players out and against Juve you cant afford that. 3 points is a big difference considering our close the league is but there are still some key games to be played. we'll still try for the promotion push tho." All I really did was pick a team and send the boys out, some younger players got some good exp points as well."
FMR Not Happy
Gooners looked easily capable of winning this game. Gooners seemed to make a point of playing the weakest side they dared, with Wellington as sub over the impressive Overmars FMR was obviously not playing for points. Cesc was injured in the second half, FMR decided to send Wellington out as Nasri and Arshavin are struggling for enough games without the extra burden of playing Silva.
When asked about the incident FMR said:
"I was only concerned with Cesc , Cesc injury is a bad one and he is a very important player to the club both on the field an financially. The way we use our players here means DV is very stable but the 14 he holds now... may not be enough to see him gain the levels we require after next games drop. The window is also closing and we are certainly not happy with the situation we find ourselves in.. all we can do is work hard with the lad to try and recover the lost form.
Many will ask why I sent Wellington out when we were easily beating Charming... as I have said already second or nineth is neither here or there to me. We need to develop these players to their maximum levels. Wellington needs to be above 17DV and Nasri and Arshavin must hit similar levels finding space in the lineup for all three is hard and regardless of the score line it was the correct decision. Wellington is now on 16 DV and if he can find the skill we know he is capable of he will add options during the off season.
We knew someone would be injured as everytime we have faced Greatness somebody key to us becomes injured in the game before... I find this a bit of a joke and for this reason... I can only hope they are relegated this season. We are fed up of having players injured to recover well and then injured again later in the season! Aside from that.. I can only hope any team that plays bruise is also relegated and I am sure they will come out playing like so on Tuesday and probably make the situation with injuries twice as bad! There is no place for bruise in top flight football... each manager should be capable of winning through his experience rather than trying his luck.
Aside from Cesc everything else is currently on course and we knew at this stage of the season wins would be hard to come by as we play the younger lads... they have stable DV after training well and resting long periods... if we can grab the odd point here and there il be more than happy. A win against Greatness is not expected although ... as always I expect the lads to play well!"
When asked about the incident FMR said:
"I was only concerned with Cesc , Cesc injury is a bad one and he is a very important player to the club both on the field an financially. The way we use our players here means DV is very stable but the 14 he holds now... may not be enough to see him gain the levels we require after next games drop. The window is also closing and we are certainly not happy with the situation we find ourselves in.. all we can do is work hard with the lad to try and recover the lost form.
Many will ask why I sent Wellington out when we were easily beating Charming... as I have said already second or nineth is neither here or there to me. We need to develop these players to their maximum levels. Wellington needs to be above 17DV and Nasri and Arshavin must hit similar levels finding space in the lineup for all three is hard and regardless of the score line it was the correct decision. Wellington is now on 16 DV and if he can find the skill we know he is capable of he will add options during the off season.
We knew someone would be injured as everytime we have faced Greatness somebody key to us becomes injured in the game before... I find this a bit of a joke and for this reason... I can only hope they are relegated this season. We are fed up of having players injured to recover well and then injured again later in the season! Aside from that.. I can only hope any team that plays bruise is also relegated and I am sure they will come out playing like so on Tuesday and probably make the situation with injuries twice as bad! There is no place for bruise in top flight football... each manager should be capable of winning through his experience rather than trying his luck.
Aside from Cesc everything else is currently on course and we knew at this stage of the season wins would be hard to come by as we play the younger lads... they have stable DV after training well and resting long periods... if we can grab the odd point here and there il be more than happy. A win against Greatness is not expected although ... as always I expect the lads to play well!"
Do or die
Flare United will have to win all their remaining games to survive in the RM Invitational, with 4 games left and the club 7 points from safety. With financial problems and injuries this season, it was hard for United from the start, but there is still hope for their fans that the club will survive.
Special Ones still building
Manager asks fans and directors to be patient.
Ajtrader100 is not one to buy success, instead he instills a development attitude to any of his sides. The result of this is short term success is pretty much impossible. His side have slipped deep into the relegation battle and look more than likely to head south at the end of this campaign.
However in the long term he is pretty much guaranteeing a much stronger younger looking side. There are several real starlets in the making in the side and his request for more time is likely to be agreed.
Ajtrader100 is not one to buy success, instead he instills a development attitude to any of his sides. The result of this is short term success is pretty much impossible. His side have slipped deep into the relegation battle and look more than likely to head south at the end of this campaign.
However in the long term he is pretty much guaranteeing a much stronger younger looking side. There are several real starlets in the making in the side and his request for more time is likely to be agreed.
Pressure Time
It was so crucial we get 3 points against Special ones because all our remaining games will be very difficult and with the league so tight its important to win the games we can. 6 teams can still get promoted. Only goal difference separates the top 4. This is by far the most exciting division in the league. Now it is about; who can handle the pressure?
Coach Hopes to Fill Out Form
A mixed week of the good, the bad and the ugly for Crimea River saw the young side come from 2-0 down to then league leaders FCR Cressex and record a rousing 3-3 draw before slipping to a 4-0 defeat at the hands of Anime Allstars FC while enduring yet another round of form savaging leaving several players on crushingly low average form and DV as the season careers toward climax.
Carthage Promoted?
With just 4 games to go Blakey0500 believes that his beloved Carthage FC have finally achieved promotion to the RMI Prem. After many seasons of playing catch-up, somehow rising from the bottom division it would seem that it is finally the time to enter the top-flight.
Whilst there are still 12 points up for grabs, having won the last 6 games on the bounce Blakey0500 is confident that promotion is all but sealed. With a superior goal difference to everyone else it's a 7 point gap and one that won't be getting any smaller.
Blakey0500 is reasonably optimistic about the change report. some players have disappointed and after being constantly riddled with injuries it's always difficult for some players, however a certain few players have excelled this season and we're expecting to maintain having the strongest team in the whole of the RMI League.
Next season is certainly one to be excited about. RMI Prem... beware!!!!
Whilst there are still 12 points up for grabs, having won the last 6 games on the bounce Blakey0500 is confident that promotion is all but sealed. With a superior goal difference to everyone else it's a 7 point gap and one that won't be getting any smaller.
Blakey0500 is reasonably optimistic about the change report. some players have disappointed and after being constantly riddled with injuries it's always difficult for some players, however a certain few players have excelled this season and we're expecting to maintain having the strongest team in the whole of the RMI League.
Next season is certainly one to be excited about. RMI Prem... beware!!!!
Oh Dear
The lads from Needaresti find themselves outside the promotion spots for the 1st time since the start of the season and this despite the fact that their new signing Cony Tottee played his 1st competitive game.
"We were rank and deserved to lose, hopefully we can make it up and not let it hurt us too much but only time will tell"
"We were rank and deserved to lose, hopefully we can make it up and not let it hurt us too much but only time will tell"
Last minute winner..Priceless
It was a crucial anbd tricky game for Classic 11 against Deanmagoo's .sopranos at new jersey...The game seemed to be heading for a draw but Adrien Choisy had other ideas and broke free in the 89th minute to secure all 3 points for the visitors.Classic 11 moved to 3rd spot in the table and next face mighty FC Cressex at home
Routine
Arsenal Reserves picked up a routine defeat at the hands of Kirkbride Strollers. Many thought the result would be alot worse with Arsenal best defender banned from the match.
DV is looking ok but a few still need to work on it and hopefully they can pick up the pace and get a good CR so we can stay up in division 1 next season
DV is looking ok but a few still need to work on it and hopefully they can pick up the pace and get a good CR so we can stay up in division 1 next season
PVD Hits 150 as Totaal Edge Closer
A week which saw Pierre van Diemen make his 150th appearance ended with a victory which left Totaalvoetbal ever closer to a second RM Invitational crown.
The striker’s landmark game came against AFC Stanley and his late penalty would gain his side a vital point in their title quest. Matts Wallman had put Stanley in front early only for Miquel Oriol to power home a header on 34 minutes for the Oranje. However, it would be the hosts who would hold a half-time lead; in a calamitous couple of minutes for Totaal, Bosse Bong would be carried off with his second serious injury of the season before Takuboku Yojimbo shot home to put Stanley in front.
Totaal would show great resolve in the second-half, though, and, after Stanley suffered injury heartache of their own, they would grab a late leveller. Of course it would be left to van Diemen to slot home from the spot which allowed him to celebrate with his adoring travelling support.
Totaalvoetbal would then follow this performance up with a somewhat nervy home victory over Flare United. In a match of few chances Totaal would be grateful for the free-kick expertise of Antonello Ballarin who curled home the winner on 28 minutes. Flare would hold no prisoners with their tackling but would not be able to find a cutting edge and Totaal would take the points.
The striker’s landmark game came against AFC Stanley and his late penalty would gain his side a vital point in their title quest. Matts Wallman had put Stanley in front early only for Miquel Oriol to power home a header on 34 minutes for the Oranje. However, it would be the hosts who would hold a half-time lead; in a calamitous couple of minutes for Totaal, Bosse Bong would be carried off with his second serious injury of the season before Takuboku Yojimbo shot home to put Stanley in front.
Totaal would show great resolve in the second-half, though, and, after Stanley suffered injury heartache of their own, they would grab a late leveller. Of course it would be left to van Diemen to slot home from the spot which allowed him to celebrate with his adoring travelling support.
Totaalvoetbal would then follow this performance up with a somewhat nervy home victory over Flare United. In a match of few chances Totaal would be grateful for the free-kick expertise of Antonello Ballarin who curled home the winner on 28 minutes. Flare would hold no prisoners with their tackling but would not be able to find a cutting edge and Totaal would take the points.
big game
Relegation rivals FC Greatness are up next for an out of form Splott who are having a topsy turvey season. We have not lost 3 in a row this season and having lost our last 2 games now would not be a good time to start. We need 3 points from this game to ease our worries but it aint looking too hopeful
In other news CM is about to sell his 3rd youth goalkeeper this season. The manager has been accused of ignring 3 great talents but at the end of the day there is no time develop these guys so it's better to cash in now and sign a new goalkeeper next season
In other news CM is about to sell his 3rd youth goalkeeper this season. The manager has been accused of ignring 3 great talents but at the end of the day there is no time develop these guys so it's better to cash in now and sign a new goalkeeper next season
two draws
Two draws in a row by Bonkers have got them a little breathing room above the relegation zone. But only a very little one of four points. Bonkers are struggling big time and the manager does not what to do, develop, sell, buy or just do nothing anything or everything. Crazy times. Next up is the easy game against those African Imitators. It will be like taking candy from a child.
Bad to worse.....
This week was just a repetition of the last one as allornothing continued their bad form, dropping points with a draw with bristol (1-1). A player was injured in the match, giving no respite to the manager from the lineup worries. Manager rocky has been under fire from the fans and media, with only 1 win in the last 5 matches. The team is second in the league, only because of a healthy goal difference. After the match rocky said," The team is goin through a rough patch. As soon as we hit the right combo, well... just wait and watch what happens then."
Poor but a win!
AC Milan just about secured a win against African Imitators thanks to a very late winner frm Sandholm.
It was one of the poorest performances Milan have put in of late but they still did just enough to get the win though they can count themselves slightly fortunate.
Milan will be looking to pick up the performance in the next game away to Morley Town knowing that anything less than their best would surely see the team come away with nothing.
It was one of the poorest performances Milan have put in of late but they still did just enough to get the win though they can count themselves slightly fortunate.
Milan will be looking to pick up the performance in the next game away to Morley Town knowing that anything less than their best would surely see the team come away with nothing.
Sales
With this season having been written off ages ago, St Omer manager Cony Tottee this week set about transforming his side.
Three players, including Cony Tottee himself were sold in just two days and Cony will now use the money in the close season to try and bring some experience into the team.
Three players, including Cony Tottee himself were sold in just two days and Cony will now use the money in the close season to try and bring some experience into the team.
what can i say
all can i say is this team is half u=what it used to be, in court for ownership disputes which has ended up in the high court in london, it has ruined the morale of the team,. THey are just getting thumped left right and centre, even bonkers is not as bonkers as this!!!
No GK!!
Arsenal Reserves count themselves lucky that they did not get a totally hammering at the hands of ThunderCats F.C after their only GK was forced off through injury just after half time. Somehow Arsenal didn't let in anymore goals and it ended 2-0.
Brown is hoping he recovers in time for the next match
Brown is hoping he recovers in time for the next match
Development Value shocker
The manager of the Undies looked enraged and he took his seat at the front of the press room this morning.
"This club is in a shocking state of affairs. The previous manager has neglected this place so much it is unreal. He was clearly a nobhead of the highest order"
"How can you improve your players in such a short space of time?" asked a provocatively dressed Ewok.
"Players? I don't give a toss about them or their DV. That isn't my concern"
"So what is your concern?" whimpered the Shake n' Vac lady
"My concern is with the DV value of this clubs cleaning ladies! They have been savagely underworked and this club is a shit tip because of this!" he boomed
"Mavis has DV of 3, she has only worked 1 shift all season! How in the name of Christ almighty am I supposed to run a club when it looks like a tramps bail hostel?"
"I have instigated a brutal timetable of cleaning that all cleaning ladies must now adhere to in an attempt to get their DV up to my high standards. They will work double shifts until the end of the season and I am going to work them to the bone" he roared. "I have put Janet on permanent latrine duty to ensure she meets the grade, she has been a lazy mare so far this season and I won't stand for it"
"I want to get Brenda up to 16 DV so I can flog her to Debenhams...I will miss her peachy arse though...shame" he mused
"On a final note, can I respectfully request that the gents do their best to hit the urinal with their wee-wee from now on? We are all grown up in this room and I am sure you can all stop playing hose wars in the gents after press conferences. I thank you" he concluded.
"This club is in a shocking state of affairs. The previous manager has neglected this place so much it is unreal. He was clearly a nobhead of the highest order"
"How can you improve your players in such a short space of time?" asked a provocatively dressed Ewok.
"Players? I don't give a toss about them or their DV. That isn't my concern"
"So what is your concern?" whimpered the Shake n' Vac lady
"My concern is with the DV value of this clubs cleaning ladies! They have been savagely underworked and this club is a shit tip because of this!" he boomed
"Mavis has DV of 3, she has only worked 1 shift all season! How in the name of Christ almighty am I supposed to run a club when it looks like a tramps bail hostel?"
"I have instigated a brutal timetable of cleaning that all cleaning ladies must now adhere to in an attempt to get their DV up to my high standards. They will work double shifts until the end of the season and I am going to work them to the bone" he roared. "I have put Janet on permanent latrine duty to ensure she meets the grade, she has been a lazy mare so far this season and I won't stand for it"
"I want to get Brenda up to 16 DV so I can flog her to Debenhams...I will miss her peachy arse though...shame" he mused
"On a final note, can I respectfully request that the gents do their best to hit the urinal with their wee-wee from now on? We are all grown up in this room and I am sure you can all stop playing hose wars in the gents after press conferences. I thank you" he concluded.
How Interesting
Results in the last round have really made Div 2 very interesting. With 5 games to go, there is only 2 points separating the top 6.
I never thought we'll ever be 2 points behind the leaders. I don't belive we will win the league but with things so tight and only 5 games to go, we'll be stupid not to at least try for promotion.
Which is exactly what we will do.
I never thought we'll ever be 2 points behind the leaders. I don't belive we will win the league but with things so tight and only 5 games to go, we'll be stupid not to at least try for promotion.
Which is exactly what we will do.
Milan lucky to get crucial win!
Milan got a vital victory over Yorkshire this evening to get themselves out of the relegation zone. Fortunately Milan prevented Yokshire from getting one shot on goal as Mathis for Milan had a nightmare and surely would have let in any shot on target.
On the plus side Milan's youngsters performed well again which should do them a world of good for the CR at the end of the season.
On the plus side Milan's youngsters performed well again which should do them a world of good for the CR at the end of the season.
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