New manager prepares for next season

"Who's the man to turn this dreadful squad around? that's me!" New manager Paddy Mckeever Announced.

"Who's the man to get rid of the deadwood and get us promoted after our inevitable relegation this season? that's me!" Paddy said glancing around the room and giving the press what could only be considered as a sexual glance

"Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? oh wait that's shaft!"

"I arrived too late to stop relegation and I'm really not fussed about playing for pride, I'd rather have pride in a winning team not one that's as bad as this one, so I'm going to tear up this squad and hopefully have one in place that can put in a decent promotion challenge next season. We're in desperate need of some finance so I'm moving the club to a specially built arena in birmingham called the Summer of 69 dome and the club is going to be renamed in honour of our new owner, Bryan Adams Athletic!"

"I've already put a bunch of players on the transfer list and hopefully will be able to get rid of a few more, we've got a really unbalanced squad with far too many strikers, far too many really old players and the wrong attitude, we've essentially got a bunch of Roy Keanes, moody, will blame anyone but themselves and absolutely no sense of humour or humility, so we'll get rid of those and bring in a few more players of the ilk of Jason Lee, I mean what's better to lighten the mood in the dressing room than having a player who looks like he's got a pineapple on his head?!"

"I'd also like to take this opportunity to announce my assistant manager will be Ronan Keating and my chief press officer will be Mr Ed the talking horse, the rest of this season probably won't be much fun but next season we'll be a team to watch out for"