"CHERRIES?!" screamed Izuka to start off a press conference in response to the latest press release from Bryan Adams Athletic. "THOSE LOLLIPOPS WERE ORANGE-FLAVOURED AND YOU KNOW IT!!"
Izuka then proceeded to more formal matters, stating, "Bryan Adams Athletic manager Paddy McKeever has been given a 2-match touchline ban after denying allegations that he was fined for attempted murder on league assistant Izuka's life, and proven drug use. However, McKeever has been let off after his mistaken attempt to sue Izuka for "defamation of character" and for "bringing the game into disrepute with unproven allegations about another manager" which were very factual, though the drunken Englishman probably wasn't in a right state of mind when he said it."
After the press conference, reporters managed to catch up with Izuka, who was kind enough to give them a few words.
"I don't know what he's on about, he must be a raving lunatic," said Izuka, an official spokesperson for the RM Invitational FA. "The FA certainly did fine him, I was just speaking on behalf of the FA, and he's lucky I'm not suing him for "defamation of character". If he carries on like this, the FA will have no choice but to hand him much worse than a touchline ban."
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