After Izuka's accusations of murder we caught up with Paddy Mckeever on his way to the clubs training ground, even though training started 7 hours ago:
"firstly the lollipops weren't poisonous that orphan just happened to be allergic to cherries! and lets be honest if he dies it won't be the first orphan that's died while I've tried to turn around a football club!"
"Secondly I haven't been fined by the F.A. and the club certainly haven't been fined, I think for a league assistant to come out with stuff like that is pretty ridiculous, it just shows he's struggling under the strain of being a manager and involved in the league, I just hope he's not using his dual position to gain any advantage"
"lastly Izuka was actually right about something for once, I was in bed until just a minute ago, as is well known in the football world, I confiscate all drugs, alcohol and cleaning products from my players and then take it all to show them the misery and effects such things can cause on your career, so excuse me for being committed to setting a good example! I think the fact I've had 19 liver transplants this year shows that!"
"I will be suing Izuka for defamation of character and for bringing the game into disrepute with unproven allegations about another manager, you think he'd be more concerned with his teams dreadful form than talking about other clubs, I think its too late in the season for us to catch his team now but I just hope they don't get relegated next season before I have the chance to come back up and spank them!"
Paddy was not under the influence of anything but blue smarties and rage during this brief interview.
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