Mills and Ithaqua

A press conference was hastilly organised today by the Pink Bus management team to discuss the goings-on of Crimea RIver gaffer, Ithaqua.

The Riders manager, looking resplendent in a baby blue cat-suit entered the room displaying his usual levels of masculinity and testosterone...and through the skin tight cat-suit, some reporters claimed they saw a hint of a semi-on.

"Myself and Ithaqua, along with AJ, have been companions in recent months. We have witnesses turmoil, distress and tears in previous leagues and we were all very grateful that we were reunited in this league"

The gaffer wiped a solitary tear from his eye and continued...

"However, I feel a rift in the group. As we all know Ithaqua has been writing some thought-provoking and moving poetry of late. I have recently discovered this is because he has been putting himself in the shop window. He has recently become...a romance novelist!"

The gaggle of press officers let out a gasp in unison. One got so excited he slipped his trousers off.

"Yes, Ithaqua was scribing his poems in the hope that romance giants, Mills & Boon would notice and offer a contract to him. Mills was so impressed he actually killed Boon and has made Ithaqua a fully fledged partner in his romance empire"

"This in itself would not constitute a rift, however I am upset that Ith did all this on the quiet. I decided to dig deeper to see why this might be. What I discovered was frankly astounding!"

"Ith has been penning romance novels based on other managers in this league! We are being used as pawns in his romantic game!"

"I have obtained a copy of his first novel, it is called "Lets come together, right now, oh yeah...in sweet harmony". This piece of romantic filth features RMI admin assistants NobbinMeBum and SuperGaySchlongMan in a story of long lost love, cruel heartache and explosive love making"

"Surely these managers cannot be happy about this. Ith is making a fortune making up tender love stories about them without even asking permission. I, for one, am disgusted with Ith's behavious and I feel very unsettled...if not slightly aroused by it all"

"His next masterpiece is said to involve a love triangle featuring Cocks18, AJtradesmensentrance and my good self. I shall not stand for this. I shall not allow this fiend to write a story about me being intimate with other gents. I shall fight this to the bitter end!"

"Ithaqua, I challenge you to respond. I challenge you to explain yourself. I challenge you to justify why you are using the other managers as characters in your sordid bender romance stories. Tell us why you are doing it!!"

The boss then punched the ballboy in the face, mocked his mothers sexual history, stole his scooter and made off at speed.