Extracurricular Action

A joint emergency press conference was held this evening at the home of the Pink Bus RIders ground between Kilie and Ithaqua. Both men walked into the press room arm-in-arm and took their seat at the front of the room.

"Right, I am sure some of you read the comments by the widely loved and respected NobbinMeBum in tonights Scribble. He mocked my pedigree as a manager by stating he was too busy with his "extracurricular activites" to worry about me" boomed the naked Pink Bus gaffer

"Well, myself and my equally naked colleague Ithaqau, decided to find out what these activities may be. It is only fair that the actions of the admin and their assistants are put into the public domain and not kept from us" he mused.

"We donned our favourite detective raincoats and followed Nobbin from a safe distance...we ended up following him to a small car park near the park. What we saw in that park was gruesome, foul, illegal and sexual"

The Pink Bus boss could then be seen shifting uncomfortably in his seat as Ithaqua appeared to move hs hand under the desk...the RIders gaffer looked slightly perturbed by this and slapped Ith's hand away.

"Anyway!" he continued "Let me tell you what we witnessed"

"Ladies, Gentlemen and Bummers of the RMI...it would appear that the univerally adored admin assistant NobbinMeBum enjoys clandestine meetings in the local park with other gents. What were they all doing I hear you scream? Well, let me tell you"

"It would appear that this group of men have found a tramp living on the streets who has a particularly large pair of man-tits. This group of deviants, who go by the name of "The 69er's" give the tramp cheap booze, cigarettes and hamburgers in return for a sly feel of his boy-boobies!"

"The tramp is middle aged, hairy and haggard...but at the end of the day he is still a man! The 69er's take it in turns to caress his succulent bosom whilst the others take photographs of the action and drool over them, eagerly awaiting their turn"

"As we were watching from behind a nearby bush, our cover was almost blown as an argument began. Ith pulled out a notepad and started making notes for his latest romance classic. I told him to put it away and have some respect for the poor tramp. Ith did not take kindly to this and I was only able to shut him up after I slipped my hot-dog in his mouth" moaned the Riders boss.

"So, good people of the RMI. You all thought that Nobbin was a good chap, a cleaning living gentleman of the highest upbringing. It would appear you were all wrong. He is, in actual face, a tramp sucking sexual predator!"

"I thought the MSE was bad for sexual deviancy, it turns out this place is much much worse. I am upset, worried and excited by this development. Ith feels the same, however I am sure I saw him put the park postcode into his Sat-Nav so he can return to watch this tramp molestation one last time"

"So, Nobbin, you may come across as Mr Nice-guy...but now everyone knows the truth about you, you horrible beast. You are kind Sir, a....TRAMP NONCER!!"

The 2 managers then stood up in unison, gave the cameras a cheeky smile and skipped out of the room giggling.