Again, after another week of scandal, skullduggery and sexualised secrecy...the Pink Bus manager has yet more revelations to unleash upon the unsuspecting public of the RMI.
The Riders pranced into the press room displaying his brand new Little Bo Peep outfit complete with pigtails.
"Look, get your eyes off my legs and listen to what I have to say you shower of queers!" he boomed
"Well, it would appear that the RMI admin team has grown yet again this week. After the shock announcement made by myself last week that Ithaqua had joined the bummers office...I now have news of a new member" he teased
"This week in the Scribble, I was involved in a conversation with Abu Dhabi gaffer Men-in-me. He claimed to work for "various government entities" I decided to find out the meaning of this statement and travelled to Yankland to find out more. It took me a matter of hours to find out who Men-in-me works for...he works for the RMI FBI dept"
"What does FBI stand for?" squealed a naked and aroused ex-BBC newsreader Trevor McDonald.
"That is a fair question Trev, let me tell you. FBI stands for....wait for it...I was disgusted when I heard this...it stands for...Finger Bottys Intensely dept.
That is right people, the RMI has a department specifically tasked to finger the bottoms of the gentlemen of this league! Men-in-me is the head of this department and he oversees the fngering on a daily basis, he even takes part when he sees a manager he really likes"
"Pour example, we all know Ithaqua obtained the random (decided months ago he would get this) VIP prize this month for one of the competitions. Well, I have since learned that Ithaqua had to travel to Yankland to get his fingering. The fingering tells the RMI head noncers, Eagles and Nobbinmebum, how supple their new member is and what degree of force they should use when they give the new member their first noncing back at RMI HQ"
"I discovered documentation proving that Men-in-me carried out the deep and intense fingering of Ithaqua to ensure he was ready to join the admin team. Ithaqua travelled to the FBI dept head office, bent over, and took fingers of increasng size in his man-hole. The results of this fingering proved Ithaqua was indeed ready to join the noncers admin team. Ithaqua then jumped on the next plane home so he could receive his first buggering"
"Cocks18 and Supergayschlongman often watch these digit-probing incidents from behind one sided mirrors. As they watch they enjoy gently cradling each other balls. Men-in-me will then go to the room where these 2 lovebirds are watching from, kiss them gently on the cheek...and allow them to take a sniff of his finger. This is awful, horrid and scandalous I am sure you will all agree" he wept
"So, anyone thinking of joining this homosexual circle of bum-lords hear this! If you join them...they will finger you...they will nonce you...and they will make you nonce others...all for their sexual gratification. If that is what you want, then fine! But if you want to stand up against these sex-criminals then join me and we can defeat them!" he roared.
"Men-in-me may look like an innocent non-VIP'er...but don't believe your eyes! He is a bottom-molestor and his fingers have blood all over them (literally as well as metaphorically)"
The Pink Bus boss then jumped from his seat, engaged in a chorus of "Girls just want to have fun" and skipped gayly out of the press room accompanied by a gentleman dressed as a gladiator.
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