RDCM AKA Mason Verger and his pigs

A 30-year-old Yorkshire manager turned pig farmer is facing life behind bars after the police found evidence relating to four missing footballers - a fraction of the total number he is thought to have chopped up.

RD "five finger" CM could be given an automatic life sentence when a jury in Wolverhampton found him guilty of kidnap amongst other things. Earlier in the week police found a stash of chopped up fingers which had RDCM’s finger prints on them.

RDCM had grown tired of his players and others hitting on his young daughter, so he took matters into his own hands, by stealing her diary and then tracking down each man mentioned in her book – resulting in him chopping their fingers off.

He still faces charges for the 20 or more men, most of them either youth or reserve players from football clubs around the country. If convicted on all those charges, he would become Wolverhampton’s most prolific weirdo.

Police are still investigating the cases of almost 40 other missing youth players. This is to be one of the main reasons why all these clubs, Yorkshires Amateurs, Special Ones MKII, Totaalvoetbal and Abu Dhabi United have had so many rubbish youths in the last few months. All the good ones are being scared off.

RDCM listened to the verdict with his head bowed and later smirked at one point. His trial is due to re-start next month when managers from all over the country will be present.

Two sisters of victim Raymond Yorke screamed "I hope you’re given a job as the soap picker upper in jail!" when he was taken into the local courtroom. But they later said they were pleased he was more than likely to be convicted on the second-degree charge.

Two jurors, both women, wiped tears from their eyes while the facts were read. The jury foreman glared at RDCM as the tape recorder was played back by a court official.

During his trial, a prosecution witness, Priti Manek, said RDCM told him how he detached his victim’s fingers and fed them to his pigs.

Health officials once issued a tainted meat warning to neighbours who might have bought Chicken twizzlers from RDCM’s farm; concerned the meat might have contained human remains.

The victims all came from RM Invitational, considered the worst ghetto in Xpert Eleven.