Pun is Mightier Than the S-Word

Crimea River followed up a 3-0 drubbing of promotion chasing Bully Boys with a 3-0 drubbing of relegation chasing Juventus.

Samir Nasri ran the show in round 20 as River left Bully Boys badly beaten with a goal and two assists with youth forwards Vivién Tchameni and Carl Spegel providing the home sides strikes in the second half.

Tchameni got himself on the scoresheet again in the round 21 fixture against Juventus with Andrei Arshavin, not from a freekick of course, and a Marcel Desailly penalty wrapping up the points in a surprisingly action packed second half after the first 45 minutes had provided little for either set of fans to get excited about.

As always the real news occurred after at the Crimea River post-match press conference...
"Pleased with two wins?" began the Crimea River head coach, "I suppose so."
"But let's get down to brass tacks, I'm sure you are all much more interested in the sensational spring selection from Mills and Ithaqua."

"Leading the release schedule we have Laddie and the Tramp. The tale of an up-and-coming down on his luck premier league MANager who bears tearful witness to his team’s capitulation in the title race in the second last game of the season."

"Distraught the titular manager, Nobinmebum, ventures to the depths Wakefield's carboard town seeking solace in the bosum of the cities sizable tramp population."

"We take a small departure from the norm in our second release, No country for Old Men. The story of up-and-coming young MANager PatrikPatrik and what happens when he stumbles upon a football team comprised of only over 30's, poor training facilities and over 2 million econs in George at Asda Pop Punk Park.”

“Deciding to keep the econs PatrikPatrik finds he must flee from psycopathic, and slightly horny, fellow manager SuperGaySchlongMan. And so begins a deadly game of cat and mouse across several of the RMI leagues."

"For our third release we delve into the realms of erotic fiction in Learning to Love It. Up and coming MANagers Ajtradesmansentrance100 and Willie_Nurse find themselves kidnapped, trapped together in a hermetically sealed cellar and nonced night and day by unknown assailants. At first both MANagers resist but soon both discover a mutual love for sensual humilitaion.”

“After finding themselves freed, by heroic and MANly MANager Ithaqua, both AJ and Willie embark on a trip through the RMI leagues exploring their sexual fantasies and playing darkly intense and kinky games. Unknown to both MANagers however their earlier incarceration was planned by a mysterious and shadowy figure. In the shadows."

"Finally the jewel in our release schedule, the controversial Cathalio11. Shocked at being sacked by Bully Boys Cathalio11 takes up the offer of a youth contract at Gooners. An act which happens to coincide with the arrival of up-and-coming MANager FMRealism. Captivated by the young players boyish good looks and amazing ball skills the new MANager finds himself strangely attracted to the youth prodigy. And so begins an erotic game of cat-and-mouse. But who is really playing with who?"

"If I can be bothered I may even release a few textual exerts from each book to get you wet," concluded the head coach.