Pimp the Aged!

The Pink Bus gaffer has taken time out from league duties this week to go undercover in an attempt to expose (and not in the good way) the acclaimed leader of the RMI, Eagles.

The manager walked into the press room displaying an aura of confidence, dignity and hetero-sexuality. He took his seat at the head of the press table, cleared his throat....

"Well, well, wellity well. You shall all be a tad suprised with what I have found this week. After I exposed NobbinMeBum's tramp molestation posse last week, it is with a heavy heart that I now find myself with dreadful information relating to the uber-loved Eagles"

"I will get straight to the point. Eagles has opened up a care-home for the elderly called "Old n Saucy". He has set this home up legitimately, it is fully staffed, passes all security and safety checks and has airy, welcoming rooms for its residents"

"However, behind this facade I have found that Eagles...." the boss composed himself "... is a horrible, predatory, hearltess swine who, inexplicably, pimps out his elderly residents to the highest bidder!"

"He is a money-grabbing bastard of the highest order that has found a niche in the sexual-deviancy market and filled it (so to speak) with this hideous service"

"Eagles, to begin with, opened up a website. On this site, he has documented what each of his residents are willing to do and for how much. For example, Edith is a toothless minx who can "suck a melon through a straw". Bernard, the elderly gent from room 3, is a "slutty man-bitch who uses his incontinence to drive his punters wild"

"Please, people, tell me you can see how horrendous this all is. I wish I could say that is as far as it went, I was wrong"

"The website has several photo galleries showing Eagles' "randy old buggers" in various states of sexual undress. In one photo we can see Ivy and Doris giving Fred and good seeing too. Poor old Fred can be seen bent over his zimmer frame while the 2 old dears give him a good seeing to with is walking stick"

"After viewing this website I decided to pose as a gent who has sexual fantasies about the elderly and infirm and visited the rest-home"

"I was greeted by Eagles himself who gave me a tour of his geriatric whore-house, and what I saw was simply astounding. In the first room I was greeted by Martha and Alan, an elderly married couple who enjoyed allowing fellows such as myself watching them probe each other using Martha's knitting needles. I nearly died"

"Eagles said to me..."For a tenner, you can watch these 2 old bastards pump each other with those knitting needles. For an extra fiver you can have a polaroid picture of Alan's cum face"

"Eagles then too me to a room named "the webcam room". In here I found a 95 year old woman named Agnes, dressed in a schoolgirl uniform. I could see the webcam...what she was doing made me weep...she was sat on a commode, pleasuring herself...whilst she defecated in the commode!. All for the pleasure of the freaks watching in the comfort of their own home"

"My jaw dropped as I took in what I was watching. Eagles walked over to Agnes, rubbed his hand through her wirey blue rinse hair, gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and said to her "Thats a good girl babycakes, you work that webcam for me bitch". He then slapped her around the face and said for £20 I could, and I quote, "bone her until the neighbours complained about the smell"

"I turned to leave the care-home. My head was a mess after what I had seen. I walked past the waiting room and had a quick glimpse inside. I was aghast when I saw NobbinMeBum, SuperGaySchlongMan and Cocks18 in there. But also present were Postman Platz and Barfin of the MSE!!!!"

"Not only are these managers a bunch of noncers of the worst kind...they also take advantage of the more distingusihed members of our society. I heard Barfin say "I love pounding anally incontinent old men from behind". The Postman nodded in agreement"

"People of the RMI, stand up and be heard! Stop being taken in by these people! They are evil, sexual beasts and will only get worse unless decent people like you and I take a stand!"

The boss then stood up, adjusted his nappy and ran out of the press room. Rumour suggested he had an appointment with a resident at the care-home whose speciality was felching.