Paddy looked nervously around the room at the assembled press and began to talk of things that would shape the future of the clubs season. Everyone who has the luck to call themselves a Padston Villa fan would remember where they were when he made this announcement:
Mckeever: "We are pleased to announce the signing of Wayne Rooney in a cash plus player deal for Asprilla and Balaban. We feel these players will do better playing in the top flight where they can motivate themselves to perform every week and we feel as Rooney is a fantastic player and a boyhood Padston Villa fan he'll relish the challenge of returning us to the top flight! In his first days training he has looked absolutely fearsome. Now before I go are there any questions?"
Reporter: "Mr Mckeever could you tell us are there any truth in the rumours linking you to the resigning of Logan MacCanish and the possible addition of Gareth Bale?"
Mckeever: "I can confirm that Logan Macanish should be rejoining the club ahead of fridays game we let him go as we needed the funds and he hasn't really settled at the Vikings so it makes sense for both clubs, he was a legend here and I'm sure he will be again. As for the Bale rumours he is a player that any manager would want in their squad but we have enough young talents here and Ocs has informed me that he's not for sale, its not my fault that Bale calls me every day begging me to get him out of that hellhole. Apparently he's not happy with Ocs's training techniques which involve more nudity than Bale is comfortable with. I like Ocs and if Bale isn't happy with his methods and lots of full frontal nudity then he's picked the wrong club to constantly beg to sign him"
So yet more wheeling and dealing at Padston Villa, all Padston fans will be delighted with this latest bit of business and happy with how the squad is shaping up for the future after some of the torment they've gone through under previous regimes. Exclusive footage of Rooney's first training session can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5fXbEivWec&feature=fvw
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