Goal-den Oldies

Old heads prevailed and ensured a winning start for debutant Crimea River head coach Ithaqua as his side comfortably saw off Gooners 'B' side 2-1 at the Theatre of Tragedy this evening.

From kick-off it was obvious both rookie gaffers had the measure of each other with Gooners 'B' content to let River enjoy the majority of the possession and hit back on the break. A tactic that worked admirably as the visitors racked up three chances to their hosts none in the opening 45 minutes.

And they would have got away with it too had it not been for that pesky injury time when Gael Clichy fired a hopeful long ball into the crowded visitors box where towering River captain Marcel Desailly rose like a salmon to bullet a header past Darren Delirious to open the scoring.

Stung into action the visitors kicked off the second half like a group of lads on a night out, on a mission to score.

And score they did on 49 minutes, Adam Aspire blasting home a short corner from Garry Gain. With @Peace prowling the technical area, phone clamped firmly to his ear for tactical advice from FMRealism, Gooners 'B' seemed content to sit back and secure a valuable point to kickstart a faltering season.

A plan doomed to failure when River midfielder Sid Peyton met a Desailly cross and planted a firm header into the gaping net to put the home side 2-1 up on 71 minutes. And then River shut up shop to ensure a winning start for their new head coach and a disappointing defensive debut for the visitors recent marquee signing, Felami Forje.

"Delighted, absolutely delighted," proclaimed a delighted Crimea River head coach post match, "an excellent three points against arguably the strongest side in the division and a vital shot in the arm for the lads after a couple of morale sapping defeats."

"At times it was like playing against a side with two MANagers out there but we stuck at it and the result was probably a fair reflection of the game."

"Desailly? Classy act for sure. And a real captains performance from him today. No, no truth to the rumours that we planned to sell him back to Padston Villa. Desailly is one of the top players in the league and one of our top points scorers so far this season."

"They would have to put me back in the loony bin if I sold him," concluded the head coach.