United coaches sacked

The entire Underdogz United coaching staff has been sacked today after a horrible week for Underdogz United. First was a 2-2 draw against Tranmere where Izuka's assistants made a horrible choice while Izuka was on the phone with the club chairman by taking off Robin van Izu after barely a third of the match has passed to bring on Victor Valdezuka to replace the sent off Izu Casillas. Even worse, they did not bother to assign a new freekick taker, meaning captain Zlatan Izuhimovic took all the freekicks himself and missed every one.

The coaches got even worse in the next game against The Vikings as they led the team to a 1-2 loss at home. The coaches installed Cesc Izukas as playmaker, though he was the very obvious choice of Eaglesrjh's marking, while choosing to mark The Vikings captain Anastasios Tassiopoulos instead of playmaker and eventual Man Of The Match Evstathios Gourmas, meaning United created hardly any chances and also gave the lion's share of possession to the visitors.

"I expect us to get back to winning ways now, with all those idiots out of the way," said first choice goalkeeper Izu Casillas to reporters earlier this morning. "The last coach guaranteed me that I could cover the whole goal no matter where the shot was going by jumping straight into the air, rotating myself parallel to the ground, and spreading out my arms and legs towards the corners of the goal. Needless to say, that was a dumb idea and I'm glad we're getting a new goalkeeper coach, it can only be good for myself and Victor," added the Spanish national goalkeeper.

"The response has been fantastic!" replied Izuka when asked about his progress hiring new coaches. "Everybody wants to work at Underdogz United! When I checked the club mailbox earlier this morning just an hour after I announced the sacking of my coaching staff to the footballing world, there were already 2000 emails waiting for me, and I expect that when I get back to it, the amounts of resumes I'll have to look through will have at least doubled. I should also tell RobinMeeblind and Cathalio11 that some of their coaches have sent us their resumes," said Izuka.

With a brand new coaching staff behind him, Izuka will expect a much better result when his side meet The Vikings again in the next round at Viking Land.