Rumours were being exchanged like an STD at a gay-gang bang this morning in the Pink Bus press room. It had been suggested in some sections of the league that the RIders gaffer had been offered a place on the hallowed RMI administration team.
The manager took his place at the table, adjusted his erection and said...
"Yes, it is true. I have been offered a position on the RMI admin team"
"I don't believe fucking believe you, you're a lying tosser!" screamed TVAM host Anne Diamond.
"Look Diamond, you fat twat, I don't care what you believe. I have the emai that arrived in my inbox just last night, you can all have a read"
The manager proceeded to hand out copies of the email to the associated press. Their collective jaw dropped to the floor...
An invitation to the top table.
Dear Kilie
I feel we here at the RMI admin team should take the time to thank you for your contribution the the league thus far.
As you are aware, this league is full of VIP'ers. You have rightly pointed out that this status has turned the vast majority, if not all, of the managers here into insular, arrogant, pompous nobbers and we feel it only right and proper that we have you on the admin team to represent the minority of non-VIP managers.
In your new role you shall have the power to bitch slap VIP members for no reason whatsoever. You can also delete any conversation in the scribble that goes into too much depth about DV, whatever that is. In addition, you can talk about whatever you like in the scribble without living in fear of a verbal scolding from other managers who do not appreciate non-football related conversations.
We hope you take us up on our offer soon as we are all very excited to have you on board. In fact, we are maybe a little bit too excited.
Yours lovingly
RMI admin team
"I would like to make my reply to this email...right here, right now" he boomed.
"Admin team, hear this...I would rather jump arse first onto a flag pole than join your team of corrupt, arrogant and gay (yes Patrik, I said gay) VIP managers. I am above your corruption and I will not play any part in it!"
"We all saw how Ithaqua changed when he got his VIP status, I will not fall into the same trap!" he squealed.
"You can take your offer of a place on your team and shove it so far up your arse you end up choking on it! I am a man of principles and righteousness. You can never turn me to the dark side...you bunch of cock-smokers (yes Patrik, I said cock-smokers)!"
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