Press

No wins, no two goals and no points in six four games sees FC UK Crimea River stay broadly on course to meet their head coaches expectations and targets for the season.

Absent from most games this season, prefering to watch the action from the local boozer, head coach Ithaqua seems to care little for his sides performances as his cheaply assembled side stagger from loss to loss. With rumours even begining to circulate that the reclusive coach even pays little attention to training and puts ever decreasing amounts of effort into his press releases...