A force for good

Journalists packed themselves into the Rider press room this evening eager to ask the gaffer about his team and how he felt the side were performing so far.

"Loose Women" preseneter Jane McDonald stood up and asked "How do you feel about DV, do you think it is a useful thing and how are your players adapting to it?"

The boss drew breath then exclaimed "What the fuck are you on about woman? DV? What is that?. If you are going to ask me stupid questions then you can leave the room forthwith. You silly looking bint"

"Right, on to important matters. I have decided that this league has seen to many arguments and too much scandal of late and I, for one, am sick of it"

"From now on, I shall be holding the position of "RMI minister for friendship and inter-league harmony" gushed the manager.

"I am now going to crack down on arguments, fighting and cross divisional rivalry"

The boss then handed out to each journalist, a piece of paper entitled...

"Kilie's rules and regulations"

1. Arguments in the scribble are strictly outlawed. Anyone found arguing within the scribble shall find themselves sat on the naughty step.

2. Anyone found releasing a PR that may be deemed offensive or derogatory towards a fellow manager shall be brutally flogged in the village square.

3. Managers found partaking in any kind of cross-divisional rivalry or provoking managers from other leagues shall be taken to the nearest kitchen and forced to iron their own balls. I am here to promote good relations with other leagues and have the best interests of all League Admins at heart (Coo-eee Postman, love you lots babycakes...mwahh x)

4. Gay jokes are now a thing of the past. Therefore all mentioning of gays, bummers, benders, bum-lords, cock-smokers, fudge-nudgers and queens are strictly prohibited.

"There we have it, the new rules and regulations that all managers shall abide by. These rules shall make life easier and more productive for us all" he mused.