Assistant coach gets sacked

Ajtrader100 loses his patience with his female assistant.

Tess Tickle was sensationally axed after tinkering with tactics before todays opening game against Morley Town FC. The side suffered a narrow 3-2 defeat despite fielding players in obviously incorrect positions. Sources say Tess was seen drinking in the local boozer before heading to the stadium today.

Trader was away scouting a youth player and left the formalities to Miss Tickle, he left clear and concise instructions which were blatantly ignored. The teamsheet showed four players out of position and the narrow defeat could have possibly been avoided if she blurry eyed coach had managed to read the guide.

Tess was initially placed on gardening leave, but was seen drunkenly digging up the pitch as she mistook her situation. The board called an imediate meeting and once Trader returned to The Reccy they decided it was best to sack Tess Tickle with immediate effect.

An insider has revealed Trader may be trying to bring youh coach Ithaqua of Crimea River to the coaching staff. He has impressed The Special Ones manager with a succesful change report at his Division 3 side.

The Ones manager stated:

"He's a bit wayward, but with my knowledge, experience, guidance and superior tactical know-how he could become a quite average manager. I'll obviously speak to the Chairman, and see if we can afford his wages. His people are asking for a large deal. We have responded with what we feel is a fair offer. I personally feel he will accept the offer on the table; 2 bottles of buckfast, a haggis supper and a year pass to Alton Towers is a fair package for someone of his talents. The ball is in his court, hopefully we will get our man."