"Again, I would like to extend a hand of apology to everyone involved in this fine league. My actions both last night and this very morning were childlike, pathetic and embarrassing. Aj, I am sorry" stated the Pink Bus manager as he read from a script printed off from www.ironicapologies.com/icantbelievepeoplethoughtitwasarealargument.
"Moving on. I notice that Ithaqua has not offered his apoogies. This does not surprise me in the slightest, this arrogant swine is a scoundrel of the highest degree who is taking everyone here as mugs"
"I have managed to obtain a print out of a segment of his diary. I will now make this document available to the press"
The RIders boss handed out several sheets of paper to the assembled press entitled "The DIary of Ithaqueer - the pompous arse". The document read...
Monday - Today I travelled to RMI HQ to pick up my random VIP prize. Luckilly I knew about this several months ago and was able to book a Travelodge for £19. I penned some poetry this evening, it was a bit gay, but I loved it. I went to bed and dreamt of my new life as a VIP.
Tuesday - This morning I logged on to the scribble, I conversed with some non-VIP managers, they really are pure filth. I loathe them. This afternoon I abused Kilie for no reason, he is much better looking than me but I can't admit it in public.
Wednesday - Today I sat down in my dining room and practiced talking in a pompous and arrogant manner. I feel I have this down to a fine art. This evening I devoured some pretentious food and scribed some more pointless and self-important poems. I really am a tosser.
Thursday - More poetry and self absorbed nonsense. I learned how to verbally vomit on people who do not purchase VIP memberships. I also sucked up to the RMI admin team, hopefully this will assist me in winning future "random" VIP prizes. Even the VIP members of this league are taken in by act, thy are as docile as the non-VIP'ers. Idiots, the lot of them.
Friday - Today I went to counselling to try and rid myself of my jealousy over Kilie_gers' journalistic talent. He really does know how to draw people in to his accurate reports. I wish I could scribe like he, I will have to settle for yet more toffee-nosed and stuck up poetry...I really am a cock.
Weekend - I managed to get Kilie and Aj into trouble today on the scribble. I laughed maniacally as they were scolded in public. My plan to turn the whole RMI against these 2 peasants appears to be working. On Sunday night I bought myself a new book called "Superfluous words", I plan on using such words in the scribble over the next week to ensure people realise how educated and up my own arse I am.
"Now you have had the chance to read this gentlemans inner most thoughts, I hope you can now see him for what he is. He hates us all" squealed the enraged Riders boss.
"Can I also point out that I have not mentioned bottys or willies in this whole PR, just want to make that clear" mumbled the gaffer.
The manager then left the room in a normal fashion, saying nothing and in no way abused any of the stadium staff.
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