Drop? Lets!

With the new season mere days away Crimea River appear to have already secured the coveted 12th place before a ball has been kicked.

"That was the aim for the season so to have potentially achieved that before a ball has even been kicked is a fantastic achievement for such a young side," droned on the River head coach, "obviously you will get the usual clutch of jokers droning on about how great their tactics were and how they deserved to win after each match but, frankly, if we are not being cuffed four or five nil twice a week then, if I were the opposing manager, I'd be ashamed."

"Sure the new development value is a worry but as long as we make sure the likes of Ekwald, Standen, Mérida and Richardson are looked after then we should not stand to lose too much financially if the whole thing goes horrendously wrong."