"What a dreadful decade that was" Paddy Mckeever exclaimed. "What do we have to show for it? football has lost touch with the fans and been consumed by cheating. Two of the people in charge Platini and Blatter are two of the biggest morons to have ever walked the planet, giving those two any responsibility for decisions in football is as bad as letting Bryan Adams own a football club!"
"The only thing worse than all that is all the stupid acronyms that popped up throughout the last decade, was it really that difficult to say Brad and Angelina? or Susan Boyle? Did we really need Brangelina or Subo? did we really have to call the last ten years the noughties? I know that's not an acronym but its also really annoying!"
"The point I'm trying to make is that it hasn't been the best decade but nothing is as bad as Bryan Adams taking over this club just over a month ago, demanding we avoid what was an inevitable relegation, renaming the club after himself and then now we've been relegated refusing to pay the players wages and selling the club! Absolutely ridiculous!"
"Luckily I used all of our transfer funds to place a bet on Leeds to beat Man Utd in the FA cup and I am now a billionaire, so for the fans and the players who all deserve better, I'm going to take over the club. The paperwork should all be finalised over the next few days and I hope to give the club some long term stability. We are currently in consultation with the fans over what the team should be called and we're very happy with how the squad is shaping up for the coming season. With the additions we've got coming to the club over the next few weeks we're fairly confident of being in the promotion mix next season but we're not underestimating anyone and we know it'll be tough."
"Before people get up in arms about me betting on the outcome of football matches, I gave Sepp Blatter a bung and he said it was fine, so I doubt I'll face any charges, if you hear Izuka saying that I do I suggest you ignore him. I find that's usually for the best. Though I am looking forward to the prospect of facing them in future seasons as I feel its a friendly rivalry that the fans relish"
"I feel I've learnt a lot about management and tactics in my short time in this league since I transferred from the Uzbekistan premier league and I'm honestly really excited about the prospect of a successful season, hopefully starting in tomorrows friendly against Mighty Mojo's. We could do with bouncing back after being battered by These Charming Men. The turmoil of the Bryan Adams situation didn't help but we were honestly beaten by the better team on the day. I hope they do well in the competition."
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