Mckeever the new Redknapp?

We asked Paddy Mckeever what he thought about being compared to Harry Redknapp in the press, due to all of his wheeling and dealing.

"I can't believe you think I'm so ugly and dodgy!" Paddy said in between tearful sniffles.

We passed him a packet of tissues and after blowing his nose loudly and messily he passed us the now disgusting tissues back and managed to stifle his crying long enough to carry on talking.

"When I saw the headline in the papers, "Mckeever likened to Redknapp", I thought they meant Jamie, I mean we're both handsome chaps, we've both had a lot of fun with Louise Redknapp, we both played in midfield and we've both advertised the Nintendo Wii, though my advert didn't make people want to stab themselves in the eye"

We then explained that Mckeever was likened to Redknapp for the amount of wheeling and dealing he had done throughout the pre season and not for his looks or excessive use of "triffic" which language experts have told us actually means "terrific"

Mckeever carried on crying for a while but explained he had been watching The Notebook with his squad in a bid to make them bond and more sensitive towards each other, though seeing as his squad were nowhere to be seen and we were at his home we're pretty sure he was lying.

Finally he turned to us and replied "Well that's ok then, as long as nobody thinks I look like Harry Redknapp or suspects me of tax evasion I'm happy and I'll continue to wheel and deal and if occasionally some of the money ends up in my own bank account then that's just the way it'll have to be!"