Your Soul is Mine

Remember the 1995 movie Mortal Kombat? When Shang Tsung or his goonies defeated a fighter, he would eerily declare ‘Your soul is mine’. Manager Sean7 is definitely feeling like one of those soul sucked bodies: empty.

Journey far to the north…no, not Canada, or the Slavic countries. Further, towards the North Pole. Blistering winds and snowstorms are prevalent, but on January 4, 2010, a scream of terror could be heard throughout the region.

That was the day that Santos News leaked a highly controversial letter from Santos manager Sean7 to Santa Claus, exposing the jolly fat man for sticking his candy cane up the wrong fruitcake
(as seen here: http://rminvitational.blogspot.com/2010/01/santo-claus-coming-to-town.html).

After the exposed letter, there were reports that Mrs. Claus was seeking half the estate, the elves, and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Trials are still ongoing. Nonetheless, jolly St. Nick was not so jolly and vowed to have revenge on the football manager who ruined his life, a manager notorious for his mood swings, drug habits, and fine taste in women. No no, not Diego Maradonna. Santos manager Sean7.

From that day onward, Santa carefully crafted a plan that would rock the football world, upside down, or right side up if you wish. Santa had his elves working over time, stockpiling new toys and gadgets, until the day when he would unleash them on…

eBay.

The toys soared off the e-shelves, bidders paying the ‘buy it now price’, Santa collecting funds, never having to pay shipping because of his magic sleigh next-day delivery. Finally, he had accumulated enough funds, before a certain club won the RM Invitational in season 7.

Santa watched the television intently, as Marcelo Afonso raised the trophy in the air, the Santos team mates behind him, and in the distance, that wretched, wretched face. The stupid grin on that stupid manager. Santa laid back, on his old chair, the gears of his mind slowly turning, setting plans into motion.

On Monday, September 13, 2010, at a press conference, Santos FC announced that Santa Claus had bought a 50.1% share of the Brazilian club, effectively ending speculation as to the mysterious owner. And then, chaos.

The fat man stated his plans for the club.
‘I will want to move Santos FC from Sao Paulo to the North Pole, I feel that the players are too distracted by those big Brazilian butts those girls have there. Here it is just snow.

And silence.’
A dark look overtook Santa before he quickly re-gathered himself.

‘Also, I will be looking for a new manager. This Sean7 fella, is on a short leash. No more offensive formations! No more samba celebrations! No more willy-nillying about the pitch!’ he roared.
And then, Santa looked at the camera, knowing full well that Santos fans, players, and most importantly the manager were watching. Raising his hand in front of him, sticking his red thumb up, he slowly rotated his hand, thumb down.

‘Your soul is mine’.